


Untitled Spander Number 1

by Spike_1790



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Blow Jobs, Coitus Interruptus, Coming Out, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Masturbation, Spells & Enchantments, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:48:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spike_1790/pseuds/Spike_1790
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike and Xander are together. Willow doesn't like it. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s good enough.”

“They’ll understand.”

“Yeah, cause the Slayer’s real understanding, with that holier-than-thou, stake-first-ask-later attitude.”

“C’mon Spike…”

“Xan…”

“No, I get it. The Big Bad is ashamed to admit he’s shagging the Zeppo”. Xander leaves the bed and heads towards the kitchen. Only coffee and/or mind-blowing sex can relive this level of crankiness. 

Spike sighs and gets off the bed, following Xander to the kitchen, still naked. It’s not the first time they’ve had this fight, and it probably won’t be the last time either. Xander stands with his back to him, blocking him out, pretending to be fixated with the kettle.

“Alright. We’ll tell ‘em. But you get to do the talking. None of ‘em will be best pleased, I reckon, and I’d like to walk away with all my parts still attached.”

Xander turns to look at his lover. “I like your parts” he grins. Spike rolls his eyes, as Xander checks that yes, all of Spike’s parts are in working order. As if last night wasn’t evidence enough. Or this morning for that matter. Or any of the times in the middle.

“Willow will understand. She’s been my best friend for forever, and it’s not like she can criticise the gay thing without being a hypocrite, and, hey, Wills isn’t big with the hypocritical. And Giles will be ok, even though he’s all stuffy and British, not that I have anything against you English guys, cos you’re an English guy and I like you lots... And Tara will be good with it cause Tara’s good with everything- there’s, like, nothing that pisses that woman off. And Dawn will think it’s cute, and Joyce will probably just do the mom thing and smile and be happy for us…” It takes Spike a few seconds to translate the babble into something resembling human language, but he does notice the way Xander leaves Buffy out of his list of ok-with-it people. It doesn’t matter. They’ve been together long enough, and though he won’t admit it- he’s the Big Bad, after all, nothing can hurt him-  Xander’s comment about being ashamed hurt him. After all, it’s been four months since Xander left Anya. Three months and three and a half weeks since that first tentative kiss. Three months, three weeks since that make out session that saw them falling naked into bed, Spike submitting to Xander, letting him in, filling him up so good… Spike shakes his head to clear the memories. Yeah, it’s been long enough.

“Better get dressed then. Watcher won’t be best pleased if you show up at the shop starkers. I would let you, but I don’t want the girls seeing my man’s body. That’s just for me, yeah?” Xander smiles at Spike’s words, the possessiveness in them.

“Yeah, just yours, baby”.

Dressing takes a long time - mostly due to Spike’s inability to keep his hands off Xander’s body - but eventually they make it to the Magic Box. The others are all inside, books open, researching the latest Nasty making itself known to the Hellmouth. Xander takes Spike’s hand and a big breath, readying himself. He pushes the door open and tightens his grip on Spike. The bell above the door jangles. Willow and Giles look up. Buffy and Tara remained focused on the books in front of them. Willow’s expression is nothing like Xander had pictured. Instead of the mild confusion and general happiness for her friend, Willow’s face speaks of nothing but horror. Giles polishes his glasses. That was an expected reaction. Buffy looks up and finally the silence.

“Xander? Why are you holding hands with Spike?”

Xander lets out the breath he took before he opened the door. “Because I love him.”

“Oh.” Which is a very inarticulate response from such a smart person to such a profound statement, in Xander’s opinion anyway. Willow adds to Buffy’s questions. “How could you? He’s a killer. He’s no better than Angelus. The only thing stopping him killing you and all of us is the chip.” Spike growls at this. Xander tightens his grip on the blonde’s hand, in what he hopes is a reassuring way. This is not the way he had hoped this would happen.

“Willow, don’t look at me that way. I haven’t changed. I’m still me. Still the Xan-man, bringer of donuts and teller of bad jokes. Only thing new is that I have a boyfriend-”

“Hey! I’m over a century old, not a ‘boy’ anymore”

“-who prefers the term lover.” He finishes, smiling gently at his vampire. Willow doesn’t seem convinced by this.

“It’s a spell. It has to be. It’s messing with your mind. It’s the only explanation. It’s all sudden, so it has to be a spell. Don’t worry, Xan, we’ll research and get you back to normal and liking boobies and girl parts in no time.”

“I’m not under a spell, and it’s not sudden. I’ve been with Spike for a while now. If you had opened your eyes you would have seen. We haven’t been hiding it.”

“But Anya…”

“… Accepted that I like men more than women. Which seems to be a concept you’re struggling to get a grip on. Can’t you be happy for us? Buffy? Giles? Tara? Please?”

“I told you they wouldn’t understand, pet.” Spike’s voice is full of sorrow, tinged with disappointment. Xander wraps his arms around his lover’s slimmer body and holds on like a drowning man to a life raft. The sound of Tara’s voice makes him turn to face the group. “I’m h-happy for you. Both of you. Y-your auras fit well together. L-like you’re meant to be together.” She offers them a shy smile, which both men return fully, glad they have one person supporting team Spander. Xander looks at Giles, hoping the Englishman will be the voice of reason.

“Xander, while I love you like a son, I am fully capable of admitting that you are able to make your own decisions. If being with Spike makes you happy, then I am happy for you.”

“Thanks G-man.”

Giles sighs and goes back to polishing his glasses. “How many times have I asked you not to call me that?”

“But he’s EVIL! Don’t you remember how he kidnapped us?! And and and… and he smokes and second hand smoke is a killer, mister… and, um…” Willow’s argument runs out of steam. She sits for a while, her jaw opening and closing as she thinks of something new to add to the prosecution.

“And he makes me happy, Wills. Don’t I deserve that?” Oh, and the puppydog eyes, always a winner. Score one for the defence.

“Yes, but not with HIM.” Spike raises one eyebrow at Willow.

“HE has a name and is standing right here. Xanpet, I know she’s your mate and all, and you want her blessing, but can we go now?”

“Yeah.” Xander sighs “Yeah, we can go home now, baby.” Xander kisses Spike, gently, chastely, just once, on the lips, and tries to forget the way his best friend's expression changed from despair to disgust at this action.

“Let’s go, love” is all the encouragement Xander needs to leave the shop.

It’s not going to be about romance tonight. Spike knows that. Tonight will be about bending over and letting Xander pound out all the anger and hurt and betrayal. Sometimes sex is like that. Sometimes it’s the most important thing in the world. Christ knows he’s done it himself enough times- with Dru when Angelus left them, with Harmony every time the Slayer beat him down, with the one night fuck-and-suck’s (in the fang-y way) in the good old days, before the chip. So Spike lets Xander do it. As an act of love. From a vampire to his boy. And when his boy is spent, and Spike can feel the cum leaking from his hole, he holds the sobbing form in their bed, til the tears have dried up, and exhaustion leads Xander to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

While Xander and Spike slept fitfully in post-shag exhaustion, Willow was awake. She could hear Tara’s breathing from the other side of the bed, and the occasional dream induced whisper or giggle, but sleep would not claim the red head. What was Xander thinking, hooking up with a vampire? Was he even thinking at all? Okay, so Spike wasn’t Angel, wouldn’t go insane after one moment’s happiness, but he would if he ever got the chip out. He’d even admitted it himself. Spike was a danger to all of them... _Of course! It had to be a trap! He was just getting vital Scooby information so he could take them down and kill them and take over Sunnydale!_ And poor helpless zeppo Xander had fallen into the honey-trap…

 

With the beginnings of a plan formulating in her head, Willow settled down for a few hours sleep. Tomorrow, when Tara was in class, Willow would go a-gathering info on the Big Bad. Already she had dismissed phoning Angel for help because of course magic was quicker, simpler and if there was something big that Spike didn’t want anyone to know, he wouldn’t have told Angel to begin with. Not even Spike was that stupid. The morning would bring about the end of the vamp’s hold on her best friend. Tomorrow was gunna be a Big day for all of them.

 

***

 

Spike opened one bleary eye as the sounds from the kitchen woke him. He had been awake for less than five minutes and the day was already going badly. Firstly, because he was awake and it was, according to the clock on the nightstand, 6:47 in the morning. Secondly, because Xander was not in the bed with him. And thirdly, he had been having a lovely dream about being given a spectacular blowjob, that now he was awake, he could tell had had him hard and leaking pre-cum for most of the night, if the damp patch on the covers was anything to go by. Xander had yet to suck Spike off, and it was getting to the point where Spike could cum just from thinking about the human’s mouth around his prick. _If he’s gunna leave me all alone in bed, of course I’m going to have myself some fun._ Reaching under the covers with his left hand, he used his right hand to tease his nipples to full hardness. He could tell it would be a short ride from the familiar tingling in his spine. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the sensations.

Xander wandered over to the bedroom doorway, cock growing hard and his bad mood at having to go to work instead of staying at home in bed with his beautiful vampire fading slightly at the sight before him. Head thrown back, mouth slightly open, drawing in unneeded breaths and shallow gasps, Spike was truly a sight to behold. His long, dark eyelashes fluttered against his cheek as his back arched. Four more strokes and Spike was cumming, moaning Xander’s name. Xander’s knees buckled as his own orgasm hit him. He hadn’t had to touch himself. Spike’s voice snapped him back to the present.

            “Enjoy the show, pet?” There was only one answer to that. Xander hurried to take off his clothes and join Spike in bed. Thrusting the bottle of lube into Spike’s hand, he realised he was hard again already. 

“Please, baby… please…”  Xander wasn’t sure what he was begging for. Whatever it was, Spike would do it for him. He sighed in pleasure as the cool mouth started to work its way down his neck, licking, nibbling and kissing a path towards nipples that were hard and just begging to be sucked. Spike flicked his tongue over one, then the other, enjoying the warm human skin and little breathy moans. He continued his path southward, his cheek just brushing over the head of Xander’s cock. His own hardness rubbed against Xander’s leg. Carefully avoiding the rock hard flesh in front of him, he zeroed in on Xander’s balls, sucking them into his mouth, rolling them gently with his tongue. Moving slightly into a better position, he let Xander’s balls out of his mouth with a slight pop, then licked up the length of the vein on the cock in front of him. As slowly as he could allow himself, he teased Xander’s cock til the man was incapable of coherent speech. Spike took Xander’s prick deep into the back of his throat, swallowing around it, feeling Xander’s fingers carding through his hair.

Xander was in heaven. There was certainly something to be said for that vampiric lack of breathing and gag reflex. That lube wasn’t going to be used this morning at all.

“Spike! So close…. Please, baby… Oh, Oh Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck YES!!!” Feeling much more relaxed, he held the blonde close while he recovered from that mind-blowing orgasm. “Mmm… I feel good. Nice and relaxed. Gotta get to work now though. I said I would open the site early, get the paperwork done that didn’t get finished yesterday.”

“Don’t suppose there’s any chance you could maybe return the favour before you leave?”

“Sorry. Maybe tonight? No, better make that tomorrow night- got Dawn sitting duty tonight.” Was that a flicker of disappointment in that beautiful face?

“’course. See you when you get back.” The words, however, were spoken to an empty room and the snick of the closing door. Spike sighed, stretched, then curled up and fell back to sleep on Xander’s side of the bed.

***

Willow had woken up full of hope for her best friend. Despite the lack of sleep the night before, she felt surprisingly well rested, and after a quick shower, she felt ready to put her plan into action.

It wasn’t a long walk from the dorm room to the Magic Box, but it felt it. Giles was serving customers and Anya was dusting, and neither seemed to notice the Redhead’s entrance. Settling at the research table and pulling out her laptop, it would look to any casual observer that this was nothing more than a normal, everyday, common or garden research session. Much like the one last night, which had been interrupted by potentially evil chipped vampires and their boyfriends. A simple spell would be best. Something that wouldn’t draw attention to herself if she needed to buy ingredients.

Nearly half an hour later, she found what she had been looking for. The book was old and the description smudged with… demon slime? Demon puss? Both? … with something icky and purple that Willow didn’t want to think about too much. But it looked simple and it was called Veritas Lux Mea. And Xander would be a free man again by tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

The ingredients were there. The preparations started. Willow's spell was underway. She could feel the magic crackle through her veins to leave her breathless. Plunging her hands into the icy solution, her mind went blindingly empty, before the pictures started to appear. It felt like her stomach was being jerked violently about inside her, as more and more images flashed before her eyes. Willow tried to make sense of what she was seeing, tried to scream even as her voice was snatched away. It was too much- the violent, swirling, crushing maelstrom that assaulted her mind…  
  
And then it was over. Willow was alone in an old-fashioned room, the blazing fire warming her skin. Black and white daguerreotypes and sepia photographs sat on the fireplace. Reaching out for a closer look, her hand slid right through. It was a feeling very similar to being a ghost that time Ethan turned everyone into their costumes that one time… _Creepy. Now where am I while it’s creepy?_ Just then, a well dressed man all but ran in to the room, shouting for a Martha. A young lady in a maid’s uniform quickly responded.  
“Send a coach for doctor Gull. The baby is being born!”  
   
The only thing Willow had time to think was “ _Baby?”_ before the rushing roar that brought her to the room returned. She didn’t scream this time, and the journey was mercifully short in comparison to the first. She was in a new room now- a lady’s bed chamber from the look of it, easily identifiable from the pictures in the history books she had read. The windows were hung with thick curtains, designed to block out all light. Gas lamps bathed the room in a sultry, melancholy glow. A four poster bed was against one wall, and faced a handsome fireplace. However, no fire burned in the hearth. Willow shivered. She couldn’t help but stare into the black maw and was aware of it staring right back, almost as if it were to come alive and snap at her ankles. A pained moan from the corner of the room caught her attention and she spun on her heel, holding her breath, despite the near certainty that she could not be seen.  
   
A woman was on the floor, breathing deeply and clutching her burgeoning stomach. _Oh! That must be the baby being born!_ The door burst open and the man from before stalked in. He looked as though he were doing his best to appear nonchalant, although the pregnant woman was not looking convinced. She looked at him with wide, begging eyes.  
  
“Arthur! Arthur, please, it hurts! Have you called for a doctor? Please Arthur!”  
“Hush, Anne. Don’t fuss so. Martha is waiting on doctor Gull and is on strict instruction to bring him here immediately. Shall I call for your sister? I know she had planned to be here for the birth and I feel so incredibly useless.” He looked dejected. Willow felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that it was improper for men to be in the room while a lady was giving birth. It was such a far cry from modern times, she thought. Once, her cousin had asked Willow to be her birthing partner, and Willow had at first agreed, until she was presented with a list of duties, including “Clean me up so there’s no ickiness when my husband films the birth”. She had had to fake an uneasiness at the sight of blood to get out of _those_ duties. The woman gave another pained cry as a contraction wracked her body.  
  
It seemed to go on forever, and as the woman’s labour seemed to be coming to an end, there were footsteps on the stairs, followed by a brief knock on the door and Martha and a middle aged man entered the room. Martha carried a jug of slightly steaming water, and had a few towels draped over one arm. She set the jug and the towels on the bed next to the middle-aged man- _Doctor Gull, I presume-_ and went to take Anne’s hand. Doctor Gull looked on dispassionately as the woman sobbed through another painful contraction.  
  
“How long has she been in labour?” He addressed the man- Arthur- instead of Anne, and this pissed Willow off. She didn’t know what year it was, but she was certain it was before equal rights and women’s suffrage.  
Arthur didn’t get a chance to answer, as a lot of things seemed to happen very fast. First, Anne yelled out her pain as the final contraction hit her. Martha yelped as Anne’s hand squeezed her own, making Willow wince. She prayed to any god and goddess listening that she wouldn’t have to hold Buffy’s hand should the slayer ever fall pregnant- she had a nasty feeling her hand would be mangled beyond recognition. Best let Xander do that. Which brought her back to the present past, and the squalling infant now held in Martha’s arms, wrapped in a warm-looking towel. Martha was cleaning the baby and the doctor was checking Anne over and Arthur was worrying at his bottom lip, tears in his eyes, and Willow was reminded of the very real possibility that this woman could die without ever holding her newborn baby. From the initial silence that had engulfed everything in the room, this was a massive difference. _A whole different universe_ Willow thought with a slightly hysterical giggle. There was noise, and light- Martha must have lit the fire, making the grate leap into life and dance with yellowy-orange flames- and an overall feeling of joy. From the corner, Arthur gave a stifled sob, and Willows heart sank. She didn’t want to, but forced herself to turn around. Anne was being helped to her feet and over to the bed. Silent tears streamed down Arthur’s face. Martha handed him the baby, and he stared at it in near disbelief.  
  
The image faded and began to turn. Not worried this time, Willow let herself be dragged into the swirling mass of colours and sound, sad only that she couldn’t stay in that warm room with the family, seeing them welcome the newest addition the group.   
  
***  
   
Joyce met Buffy on the driveway to their house. Their appearance couldn’t have been more different. Joyce was wearing a smart suit, picked out and bought especially for the meeting today- a meeting that had been a roaring success. She had secured two new investors and had been delighted when one of them expressed an interest in displaying some items in the gallery that would be loaned from the British Museum itself. She looked at Buffy.  
  
The slayer was wearing an orange halter top, and a pair of jeans, the colour of which Joyce couldn’t identify under the thick green and brown slime that coated her daughter’s skin and clothes. “Don’t ask, ok?”  
  
Joyce shrugged and opened the door. The TV was on in the living room, a DVD playing. Brokeback Mountain. Buffy turned to her mother and gave her the “This is Dawn’s doing” look. Spike and Xander were curled up together on the sofa, more engrossed in each other than the film. Dawn was clearly torn between watching the men on the TV, or the men making out on the couch. Their hands were all over each other. Oh, sure, it had started out innocent enough, with Xander giving Spike a chaste kiss on the lips for not grumbling too much over Dawn’s choice of film. Spike had decided one kiss was not reward enough for him to sit through a film about what he and Xander should be doing in bed right now, and had crawled into his lap and started surreptitiously touching the places on Xander’s body that he knew from experience would drive the other man crazy with need and desire. He had positioned himself so Dawn wouldn’t be able to see the bulge in Xander’s jeans, or his own for that matter.  
  
Buffy coughed loudly, causing Dawn and Xander to jump. Spike had been aware of them for a while, he just hadn’t wanted the kissing to stop. “Dawn, time for bed. You have school in the morning”. Dawn squeaked and ran up the stairs, obviously embarrassed to be caught watching the show on the couch. Xander also looked suitably embarrassed, with a blush gracing his cheeks. Spike groaned and had to fight to keep himself from coming at the closeness of the boy’s blood. Xander pushed Spike off his lap, scrambled to his feet and grabbed his coat, holding it in front of him to keep the girls- _women_ , he corrected himself- from seeing the evidence of his arousal. Spike made no such effort. The outline of his cock clearly visible beneath the tight denim. Buffy had once caught him jerking off in his crypt, the covers kicked to the end of the bed, his eyes closed, too far gone to stop even if he had noticed her presence. She had seen him cum, so damn hard it had hit the headboard of the bed and splashed onto his face. That’s just what thinking of Xander did to him. He had nothing to hide from the slayer anymore.  
  
“Hi Joyce, Buffy” Xander looked very uncomfortable. “We, erm, we were, erm… watching a film!” Spike had to hold back a laugh, and wrapped his arms around Xander’s waist.  
  
“Ladies, if you won’t be needing us anymore, we’ll be going home” With one last wink at Buffy, _oh look, more blushing,_ Spike steered Xander out the door. _Time for good little Xander’s to be tucked up in their beds… with me on top of him, of course…_  
 


	4. Chapter 4

Xander fumbles with the keys as Spike does something incredibly distracting to him. He’s kissing the back of Xander’s neck and sucking oh so gently, just… there, just where it sends tingles down his spine. It’s driving his Xan-pet wild. So is the rock hard cock pressing against his arse. Xander is very well aware that if they don’t get into the apartment soon, Spike will undo both their flies and Xander would be on the receiving end of a very good, very public blowjob. He also knew that having his mouth full of Xander’s dick wouldn’t stop Spike making as much noise as possible as he jacked himself off, moaning with every stroke, rising to a low growl as his orgasm approached, and fuck if it wasn’t the sexiest thing Xander had ever experienced. Unfortunately, it also seemed to be the sexiest thing his neighbour Derek had ever experienced, if those leering looks were anything to go by. One time Xander had sent Spike out to collect their dinner (a very nice Chinese meal from an expensive place that didn’t deliver). He had been surprised when 15 minutes after Spike had left he got a call from Spike’s cell. There were two voices on the other end of the line. One was Spike, desperately trying to fend of Derek’s advances. Xander had rushed out of the apartment and slugged Derek so hard he broke the man’s nose. It had been an instinctive reaction to seeing some old perv, as Spike so fondly referred to him, palming your boyfriend’s crotch while said boyfriend was backed against a wall and looking fucking terrified.  
  
Spike had run straight into Xander’s arms and burst into tears, which was the opposite of what Xander had been expecting, although to be honest, he didn’t know what he was expecting. Two and a half hours and a cold Chinese later, Spike was back to his usual Big Bad self. Xander hadn’t brought up the incident, and figured Spike would tell when he was ready.  
  
Snapping out of his memories, Xander pushed the unlocked door open, and was immediately hit by a rush of warm air. He smiled. It smelled like home. Spike shut the door behind them and by the time Xander had turned around, was completely naked. _So fucking gorgeous, and all mine._ Spike moved to lean over the back of the sofa, displaying perfect milky skin, and perfect well-toned muscles, and a perfect sexy smile. _All mine._  
  
“Gunna take me Xan?” _Ooh that voice. Bastard is damn near purring._ Quicker than he thought humanly possible, Xander was naked and behind Spike, slicking his own fingers with lube from one of the many tubes Spike had hidden for just this purpose. He pushed one finger into Spike’s waiting body, pleased with the groan he received. He had never been with a man before Spike, but he _had_ watched a lot of gay porn. He had pleasured himself to videos of blowjobs and rimjobs and men pounding into each other’s bodies. There had been lots of close up shots of men’s arses, and none of them came close to comparing to Spike’s perfect one, with its firm, muscular cheeks, and that dusky little rosebud pucker, that he knew was so tight it felt like sliding into heaven.  
  
“Please, please please… Xan, do it now!” _Begging already? This is gunna be over_ way _too quick…_ Sliding his slick fingers out of Spike’s body, and smiling at the inevitable groan of disappointment from the blonde, Xander quickly coated his aching cock in more lube and lined up against Spike’s waiting entrance. He waited, teasing, until he heard the sound he had been waiting for- a slight hitch in Spike’s breathing. _He breathes for me. Just for me. All mine._ Pushing forward, he felt the head of his cock slip past the still tight ring of muscle. Both men froze. When Xander thought he would be able to move without cumming, he kept pushing in until he felt his balls touch against Spike. Then he slowly pulled out, until only the head remained inside his vampire, revelling in Spike’s pleas and breathy little moans. Spike’s left hand was wrapped firmly around his own cock, and as Xander slammed back in, he knew Spike was desperately trying to stop himself from coming. _Oh, no you don’t._ Batting Spike’s hand out the way, Xander started pounding into Spike’s body and stripping his cock in a punishing rhythm. Lasting more than a minute was looking less and less likely. Changing the angle of his thrusts, he knew he had hit the right spot when Spike let out a strangled moan. The tell-tale tingling in his balls had started and sparks of pleasure were zipping down his spine. Mercifully, he felt Spike’s shaft get impossibly harder and his balls tighten just seconds before his cool cum hit the back of the sofa. Xander let himself go, spilling his release into Spike.  
   
***  
Willow was in a field. As far as she could tell, she was alone, except for a few sheep in the distance, looking like little balls of cotton wool on a child’s art project. It was very serene. She had no idea where she was, but she was sure it was somewhere different from where she had been last time. Where before had been oppressive and dark, this was open and bright and fresh. Not too far away, a brook was babbling away as it had done and would keep on doing for years, and sweet birdsong punctuated the air. She walked towards the sound of the water.  
  
Following the stream along, she came to a wooded area, and stood beneath the trees as the breeze tossed dappled sunlight to the floor. It was romantic, she thought, and she would have loved to have been holding hands with Tara, feeling the magic of the place strum through their bodies.    
  
The sound of voices reached her ears, distant at first, but quickly becoming clearer, accompanied by the sound of footsteps, dry leaves crackling, and a slight squeak that Willow couldn’t place. As they came into view, Willow smiled. Anne and Arthur, and the squeak was the wheels of a baby’s carriage. Taking a blanket from beneath the carriage, Arthur began to set up a picnic, while Anne lifted the child into her arms. The baby gurgled and giggled and waved a pudgy hand at a butterfly that danced near to Anne’s shoulder. Although it was hard to tell with young children, Willow suspected this child was a boy. By her estimation, which she knew was by no means useful, he was about a year old, and completely adorable. Anne set the boy down on the blanket, and was immediately drawn into a game of chase when a delighted squeal announced her baby was trying to crawl to freedom. This went on for a few minutes, with either Anne or Arthur picking up the boy and bringing him back to the blanket, whereupon he would promptly crawl off again making adorable baby noises. Willow couldn’t help but laugh. When her cousin’s baby had been around the same age as the boy she was now watching, she had also made her parents chase her, and that had been equally cute. When back with his parents again, the boy pulled himself into a wobbly standing position using his fathers shoulder, fingers shoved into a mostly toothless mouth and coated in dribble. Arthur was sat opposite Anne, and placed the boy between them, still on his feet, holding the child’s sides to keep him steady.  
  
“Do you think he will try to walk today? Your mother seems awfully worried that he hasn’t managed it yet.” Anne asked her husband.  
  
“He will walk when he is ready to. My mother may think she knows best, but the nanny we hired is very good and she isn’t concerned at all. He’s not even a year old, Anne.”  
  
The sound of the boy’s laughter was the last thing Willow heard before she was swept along again.  
   
She landed ungracefully on the floor of a wooden-panelled room. Looking around her she saw a wooden table surrounded by four wooden chairs. On the door was a hook holding a blue apron. _This must be the kitchen. So where are the three bears?_ A crash from above her made Willow jump. She headed for the door, looking for whatever demon made the noise, working on good ole Sunnydale instinct.  
She ran up the staircase and into the room the crash had come from. Instead of a demon, she saw an overturned bookcase and a small blonde haired boy of about five or six years old. He had blood all over his legs and was sitting very still, pale face displaying a morbid fascination with the fluid on his skin and the floor.  
  
“WILLIAM! What happened? Are you ok?” This was addressed towards the boy on the floor, but she didn’t give him a chance to speak before “ARTHUR CALL A DOCTOR! Where is Bethany? That lazy girl should have been keeping an eye on you”. _His name is William. And he’s covered in blood. Ha! It’s William the Bloody! Oh, oh, this must be the_ real _William the Bloody. This is a sucky spell! If I had wanted a history lesson, I would have read another book._  
  
“I’m alright, mother. I just think my leg got scratched. I’m very sorry for being naughty. Thomas told me to get a book down from the very top shelf for him, but I fell.” He looked miserable. Willow had seen plenty of injured people in her time as a Slayerette, but this boy was the calmest of all of them. He shakily got to his feet and blanched when he saw the damage to his leg properly. His trouser leg was torn and a deep cut had been uncovered. _Shock_ Willow thought. _Of course he was calm, he was in shock. He needs to see that doctor soon. That’s going to leave one hell of a scar._  



	5. Chapter 5

Xander was woken up by what at first seemed to be Olaf smashing his hammer against the door to the apartment. He scrambled over Spike’s still-sleeping form and off the sofa onto the floor. Hastily throwing on a pair of pants, he threw the door open and was promptly smacked on the nose by Buffy, who it turned out was doing an Olaf impression.  
  
“Thank god, Xander, you’re here. Willow’s in trouble. Tara came home from her class and Willow’s stuck in a trance. She’s not breathing or anything. We need to rally the troops. Where’s Spike?”  
  
“Xan, stop talking and come snuggle me” _oh, that pouty little voice…. DO NOT GET A BONER IN FRONT OF BUFFY!_ Little Xan was obviously not paying attention, but that was alright, as Buffy was temporarily distracted by a very naked, very aroused, Spike who had come to see what the noise was about. Buffy was a brilliant shade of red. She looked like a sunburnt tomato. Spike was still too asleep to figure out the etiquette of being naked around the friends of his boyfriend, so he settled for standing behind Xander and wrapping his arms around the brunette’s waist. He was vaguely aware of a brief conversation playing out between the gorgeous boy in his arms and the slayer whose blush was visible down to her cleavage. She was fumbling her words and trying to keep her eyes averted from the two men. Spike must have fallen asleep on Xander’s shoulder, because he was woken up by Xander shaking him gently. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes were Xander’s, full of love and humour.  
  
“You awake now, sleepyhead?” Spike nodded. “Good. Wanna get some clothes on before Buffy finishes making coffee? She’ll be done in the kitchen in a few minutes.”  
  
“Donwannagedress’d. Wannabenakedwiyou,” Spike mumbled into Xander’s shoulder. Xander smiled. _He’s still half asleep. He’s adorable. My adorable, snuggly vampire._  
  
“I know you don’t want to get dressed, baby, but we have to help Willow.” That got Spike’s attention.  
  
“Why? She doesn’t want us to be together. She wants you to settle down and get married to a nice girl and have a nice house in the suburbs, and two-point-four nice kids who get nice grades in school and have nice friends. She doesn’t want me to be in your life.” Spike pulled out of Xander’s embrace and got dressed. If his back was to the human, it wouldn’t matter that he was upset, because at least Xander couldn’t see the tears that escaped. _I’m a sodding Master Vampire for fucksake. I don’t cry._ Buffy’s cough from the kitchen doorway made him start. He looked her dead in the eyes, daring her to comment.  
  
“If Willow had seen what I’d seen today…” Spike leered at her and enjoyed her blush. “I mean, how you and Xander are when you’re together, not the naked thing. Not that the naked thing wasn’t impressive… I’ll shut up now.” She focused on her shoes, not looking at the grinning vampire. “If she had seen the way Xander smiled when you put your arms around him, she would have taken back everything she said at the Magic Box. We all want Xander to be happy.” Spike walked towards her and lifted her chin so she had no choice but to look him dead in the eyes.  
  
“That’s all I want too.” He was surprised when she dragged him into a bone-crushing hug, but he returned it all the same, and that was how Xander found them some minutes later when he emerged from the bathroom freshly showered and squeaky clean.  
“Should I be jealous?” He asked with a grin. Internally, he was doing a snoopy dance; his lover and one of his best friends getting along. _And Spike was worried about how she would react. Ha!_  
  
“No, love. You know I’m just yours.” The men shared a brief kiss- _Too brief-_ before turning their attention to the slayer, who had tears in her eyes.  
  
“You guys are so cute together,” she sniffed. Before the situation could break down into a major sob-fest, the likes of which Sunnydale had never seen before, Buffy left the apartment, mumbling something about waiting for them outside. The boys met her out there two minutes later. They walked in silence to the Magic Box. Buffy smiled when she saw the vampire entwine his fingers with the human’s. If Spike and Xander could love each other, maybe there was hope for her and Angel after all.  
   
***  
They met Giles at the Magic Box. He was stacking piles of books on the round table. He glanced up briefly when the bell rung over the shop door. _He looks tired_ , Xander thought. _And not the cute kind of tired like Spike does. He looks… world-weary._  
  
“We are to meet Tara at their dorm room. She is with Willow now. We will take the relevant books with us and leave immediately.” He handed stacks of books to Buffy, Spike and Xander. “We will take my car.” With that, he opened the door for the three book carrying beings. It took a while to unload the books into the small trunk of the sporty red car, but they managed it. When they were all safely buckled in, complete with complaints from spike- “I’m over a hundred years old! I don’t need a sodding seat belt!”- they were off to see the witches.  
  
It was a quick drive. In all honesty, it took longer for Giles to unload the books onto the arms of the others- _why doesn’t he have to carry anything? -_ than anything else. When they were at Willow and Tara’s dorm room, Giles knocked on the door, which was opened immediately by a worried-looking Tara. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, like she had been crying for hours. Spike set down the stack of books he had been carrying, which was significantly larger than the stack Xander had in his arms, and drew Tara into a hug, running a soothing hand over her back. She accepted the hug gratefully, and let herself cry into his shoulder. When he felt her sobs calm, he led her over to the bed and sat her down. Crouching in front of her, he spoke softly, encouraging her to tell them what had happened.  
  
“She was just sitting there. I got back from class and she was just sitting there. She’s not breathing, and I can’t feel her pulse. And her eyes! Look at them!” Xander looked. Willow’s eyes were ghostly green, the same colour of the green mist on the Scooby Doo cartoons he and Spike still watched together every Saturday morning. _I never realised how good Spike is with hysterical women. Must have learned that from his time with Dru…_  Tara was crying again. He wanted to comfort her, but Spike had that base covered. And there was research to be done. Spike wasn’t any good at research. To everyone except Xander, it was due to Spike’s pathetically short attention span. To Xander, it was because Spike couldn’t read without glasses. He had found out that little gem of information about a week after they had first got together. They had had a fight- not a serious one, just a little thing about whose turn it was to have control of the TV remote. Spike had left to let Xander calm down. An hour or so later, Xander had gone looking for Spike. He had found the blonde in his old crypt, lying on his stomach on the stone sarcophagus, book in front of him, with a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched in the bridge of his nose.  He had tried to hide them when he saw Xander, but Xander had stopped him. He had kissed the vampire so gently he had hardly felt it. Spike looked so ashamed and insecure that Xander had promised not to tell the others. Spike had never been ashamed to wear his glasses in front of Xander since, but that didn’t mean he would wear them in front of the Scoobies.  
  
So Xander, Buffy and Giles started to research. Spike switched on the kettle and made Tara a cup of sweet, milky tea. His mother used to make him tea like that when he was feeling sad or worried. It had always helped. Now when he was worried or upset it was accompanied by a menthol cigarette and a shot of whiskey, but he had a feeling that alcohol and cigarettes wouldn’t do Tara much good. When he had handed the mug of hot tea to Tara, he proceeded to make two more teas- black with two sugars for himself, milk and no sugar for Giles- and two cups of coffee for Xander and Buffy, both with milk and sugar. Tea and coffee was a necessary component in research sessions, and a task that usually fell to either Tara or himself.  
  
He made them all jump when he broke the silence to announce that Willow’s pulse was still there, just very slow. He had heard her heart beat only twice in the last half hour. She wasn’t dead, just moving out of sync with the rest of their timeline. They all breathed a sigh of relief and knew that at least they wouldn’t have to deal with one of their own being a zombie. It had been a tough night for Tara especially, and when she gave Spike a look he knew exactly what it meant. It meant ‘Don’t leave me’ and ‘Please hold me’ and a million other things he recognised from his own past. He nodded, and Tara gave him a watery smile.  
  
When Xander looked up from his book, he saw his best friend’s girlfriend and his lover spooned together on the bed, both fast asleep. A pang of jealousy passed through him, but he shrugged it off. Spike was his. Tara was Willow’s. And when this was all over, he would get his own vampire snuggles. He couldn’t begrudge Tara comfort when she needed it. And Spike… Spike was a natural care-giver. He had looked after Dru for a hundred plus years. Holding Tara this way was just Spike’s way of saying ‘We’re friends. I’ll help you.’ No, Xander couldn’t be jealous of that.      



	6. Chapter 6

In her own time stream, away from the chatter and noise of her friends in her doom room, Willow was in a lovely hazy blue place. It was warm. Nothing was fully formed, and shapes and memories that weren’t her own danced around her, fading before she had a chance to think on them in more depth. It felt like time had no meaning, moving so seconds felt like hours, and minutes took days to pass. _This must be what death feels like,_ she mused. It was a peaceful place.  
  
Then all at once, things started to happen. A room appeared around her. But she wasn’t herself. She could feel the deep pile of the carpet beneath bare feet, but she couldn’t direct where those feet would move. She was dragged down a hallway, the dim lights casting an eerie glow on the portraits on the walls. The controlling body changed directions, leading down hallway after hallway, some bathed in rich sunlight, so real Willow could feel it warm her skin, and others cast in shadow. She felt scared, like she and the Controller were being forced down a path chosen by something bigger than them, and they were getting lost in the maze of passages, everything distorted, like a hall of mirrors at the carnival. The Controller’s heart was pounding, and Willow could feel it as if it were her own. There was a door up ahead. If they could just get to it… If by some chance it wasn’t locked…. They reached out a hand towards it…  
  
And it opened. The chasing feeling stopped instantly. Together they crept into the room. The door slammed behind them, making them jump simultaneously. Bright white light flooded the room, and Willow could see what had been hidden before. There was a man. No, not a man- a boy. Maybe fifteen years old. He was naked. His hard cock stood proudly from his body, the head flush with blood and the foreskin retracted. He was touching himself. Beads of sweat formed on the boy’s top lip as he stroked himself. His hair was chestnut brown and shoulder length, spilling round his shoulders as he threw his head back in pleasure.  
“William… William, please…” The controller held out a shaky hand, unsure of whether or not to touch the other. Willow looked down. She was in a male body. A male body with a quite impressive erection. “Please, William. I want to touch you. I know you want to touch me…” The boy stepped closer to the Controller- _William,_ Willow reminded herself- and closed his hand around William’s thick member, which was already seeping a steady stream of pre-cum, making it slick and so easy to pleasure. William was gasping, making guttural sex noises, and the other boy was panting, coming hard and painting William’s skin with thick ropes of semen…  
  
William choked off a cry of pleasure as the orgasm wracked his body. Willow watched as he lay there, too far gone to do anything but spill his seed on the sheets of his bed. He was panting, gasping for air. It stirred something in Willow’s memory. A twelve-year-old Xander, asleep on the blue air-mattress on her bedroom floor, between her bed and the red air-mattress on which Jesse slept. Willow’s mother had said she was too old to have sleep-over’s with those boys, even if they were all best friends. Willow learnt that night just why. She had woken up when the neighbour’s car door slammed. The two boys slept on. But Willow noticed Xander’s breathing change rhythm, a conspicuous tent under the sheet. She knew she shouldn’t look, but, like a car-crash, she couldn’t drag her eyes away. Xander had shuddered, and a small wet patch appeared on the white sheet. That was the last sleep over Willow had had.  
  
She looked back at William. He looked so embarrassed, sitting up in his bed, groin coated in his own semen. She watched him climb out from between the sheets, holding the sticky material of his pyjamas away from his body, and sponge himself down, clearing away the evidence of his shame.      
When he was cleaned up, he sat at the desk in the corner of the room, and opened a book. _Must be his diary._ She watched him write for some time, before he finished dressing and, with one last look at the bed, left the room.  
  
Willow wandered over to the desk and the still-open book. She knew it was wrong, but she _just had to know._

  


        I dreamt of him again. I dreamt I stoked him to completion, and as, in my dream, his spend touched my skin, I, too,                 reached my climax in my bed. Now I know what the other boys mean when they talk about such vulgar things. However,           while they desire women with soft curves, that is not what compels me to shame myself. Samuel. Were it not that he is           my best friends brother, two years my senior, and a man, I would have him as my lover. I should not think such sinful               things, let alone commit them to paper, but I think I have fallen for him. If he would just look at me, he would see how I             feel for him; and it wouldn’t matter that he is sixteen and I am younger. I just dread to think what mother would think if she         knew.

  
Feeling once more like an intruder, Willow was glad when she was swept out of the room on another wave of magic and time.  
  
***  
  
Spike was restless. He had woken after less than an hour. Willow was still in a trance, Xander was still researching and Spike was Bored. He wanted to go out and kill something, but he had promised Xander he would be around in case he was needed to help break the spell. They both knew they could manage without him. And more than he wanted a fight, he wanted his Xan-pet; he wanted cuddles and kisses and sex and he couldn’t have those things with Giles, Buffy, Tara and a comatose Willow in the same room as them.  
  
Spike huffed and flopped down on the floor next to Xander. The coffee mug was sitting on the floor in front of Xander’s crossed legs, inoffensively, as is how most coffee cups sit. Unfortunately for the coffee mug, it was about to become public enemy number one, as Spike picked it up and dumped the cold contents into a startled Xander’s lap.  
  
“WHAT THE HELL, SPIKE?!”  
  
Spike gave his best ‘Who? Me?’ expression, which wasn’t very convincing. Xander glowered and closed the book he had been paging through.  
  
“Best get the boy cleaned up,” Spike explained, dragging a pissed off looking Xander towards the en suite bathroom. With some luck, Xander wouldn’t be too angry to share a shower and a blowjob. Luck, it turned out, was not on Spike’s side.  
  
“What the hell are you trying to do?” Xander hissed when they were both locked in the tiny bathroom. “My best friend is trapped in a magical… something… and you’re pouring cold coffee on my crotch?! She’s my best friend, for fucksake. I know you don’t like her, and you have some weird addiction to not helping, but can you not help some place else?” Spike opened his mouth to speak, but Xander kept on going. “You know what? Just get the hell out of my sight. If you loved me, you would help me help her. Fuck off, Spike.” Xander turned his back on the stunned vampire. Spike placed one hand on Xander’s shoulder, to comfort, to reconcile. Xander spun back round and smacked Spike clean in the face. The blonde head snapped back, hitting the wooden door-frame. The last thing Xander saw before Spike left the bathroom was the bright light dim in those blue, blue eyes. _Fuck it_ , Xander thought. _I don’t care_.  
  
Spike grabbed his coat from the back of the chair it had been left on, and left without a word to the others. Tara woke to the slam of the dorm room door. The slayer, the witch and the watcher gave each other questioning looks, before they glanced at the closed bathroom door. There was nothing they could do at the moment.  
  
Xander was so angry it hurt. He was physically shaking with fury. It was an over-reaction, he knew, but it didn’t matter right now. He was scared for his friend, and in need of his lover’s support. Spike was a needy creature, full of snuggles and affection. He lapped up any he could get and gave it back ten-fold. That knowledge just made him angrier. It was over an hour later when he finally emerged, without a word, and sat down in a spot on the floor that was void of damp coffee stains. He kept reading into the early hours of the morning. As the sun’s first rays graced the horizon and tinged the sky pink, Buffy and Giles slept, their heads pillowed on their open books. Xander kept on reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-con in this chapter.

As the sun’s first rays graced the horizon and tinged the sky pink, Spike sat on the cold stone sarcophagus in his old crypt. It seemed so strange to him now that he had ever called this place home. It was damp and full of cobwebs. After living in Xander’s apartment, sharing his bed, his warmth, the chill of the crypt swept through him, into his bones. He felt truly dead. He wanted to go back, to tell Xander he was sorry, but Xander had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want Spike around. _Does that mean for an hour? A day? Forever?_ He shuddered to think of his life without Xander. The man was warmth and sunshine. He was Spike’s polar opposite, and Spike loved him for it.  
   
Xander would find him here. He would wait. He had wanted to go back to the warm apartment; to the unmade bed that he knew would still smell of sex. Xander hadn’t been specific when he told Spike to go, so Spike didn’t go there. He didn’t want to make his Xan-pet angrier. He knew that Xander loved Willow, and always would- they had been friends their whole lives. That had been one of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to be there when Xander told the others about their relationship. He hadn’t wanted to face the- very real, in Spike’s mind- possibility that Xander would be swayed by their opinion, and leave Spike without a moments hesitation. Xander was loyal to a fault, the white knight, the light to Spike’s darkness. The question was, was that loyalty to his friends, or his lover?  
   
Deciding that he didn’t want to know right now, Spike laid down and tried to get comfortable enough to sleep, to adjust to the cold in that invaded his whole body. He laid awake for hours, ignoring the cold tears that slipped down his cold skin to land on cold stone. Eventually, he slept.  
   
***  
   
When Buffy and Giles woke up, their faces stuck to the pages of their books, Xander was still reading. He had made copious notes on scraps of paper on the possibilities of Willow’s magical entrapment. At first it was just a way of distracting himself from his anger. That had faded over the hours. Now? Now it was a way of distracting himself from the emptiness of his arms. He was scared. Willow needed help, Tara needed their support and Buffy and Giles needed him to research. Xander needed a cuddle. He needed his vampire.    
   
Xander handed the scrawled notes to Giles and continued reading. He was distracted, causing him to have to read each page multiple times. His head was pounding and his eyes ached with tiredness. Xander wanted to go home.  
“Veritas Lux Mea! That’s a dangerous spell for an amateur.” Giles mused. “If this is what she’s done, there’s nothing to do but wait for it to end on its own. She’ll be safe enough here. Her heart rate will remain slow and she will require very little oxygen. Time will have moved differently for her, so it’s likely she will be disorientated when she comes out of the spell.”  
   
“We’ll take shifts. An hour at a time, so there will always be someone here in case the spell ends.” Buffy spoke as a general directing her troops. Xander didn’t care. So long as he could get some rest. As the girls and Giles had managed to sleep already, they took the first shifts, leaving Xander to go home to rest.  
He trudged wearily through the door and collapsed onto the couch, falling immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep.  
   
***  
   
She was in a class room. It was older and fancier than the ones in Sunnydale University. An old man with white hair stood in front of dozens of seated young men, droning on about something Willow wasn’t interested in. Ordinarily she would have been delighted to learn, but she was too busy looking for William. He had been the common factor so far, and Willow was curious as to how he looked. From fourteen years old to, Willow guessed, about nineteen- those years would make a massive difference to his appearance.  
   
The class ended, and Willow watched the men leave the room. She turned back from the door and found herself face to face with Spike. He was younger, with dark blonde curly hair, and the scar above his eye was missing, but it was definitely him. _He’s Spike. William really is Spike. The spell is giving me all the stuff I need to break up him and Xander. Not what I was expecting, but, hey, better than nothing._ William walked through her and out the door. The old man was packing up his things, and Willow caught sight of the gilt lettering on a thick red textbook. _William read law? Spike has a degree in law? How’s that meant to help me break them up?_ Once more she swirled out in a wave of time, off to some new place in time.  
   
***  
   
The party was much quieter than the frat parties she was used to hearing. Young men stood around with tumblers of whiskey, chatting politely with other young men. It was boring, to Willow at least. Someone tapped his glass with a spoon and the noise died down.  
   
“A toast! Congratulations are due to us all. May we all become successful in our chosen occupations. Keep drinking men!” This brief speech was met by laughs and cheers, and the men drank to the toast.  
   
By the time the men were drunk, Willow was so bored she was falling asleep. She had no idea why she was there. In the other times she had been to, she had been brought directly to the thing she was meant to see.  
   
Just as she started to think the spell had gone wrong, she saw it. Heading down a staircase, laughing in only the way a drunk person can, were three figures- a woman and two men. They were all supporting each other and stumbling. One of the men was William. The other man had his flies undone and his shirt partially untucked. The woman was touching the other man’s chest and fawning over him shamelessly. She kissed the other man, then William, and whispered in his ear. _Did they just have sex? All three of them? For someone who was ashamed of a wet dream it seems unlikely. Maybe this is the spell’s idea of giving me blackmail material…_ She didn’t get to find out, as time and the spell moved her on.  
   
Willow stood in an alleyway. This time she knew what she was seeing. William would be Spike very soon. Drusilla was burying her fangs in the soft flesh of William’s neck. In no time at all, she had drained him and made him drink her own blood. William was dead and Spike was about to be born.  
   
When she landed from her magic time ride, she was in a graveyard. It was testament to her time with the slayer that she didn’t jump when a fist punched through the ground just a few feet from her. Less than five minutes later, Spike had dug himself out of the crude, unmarked grave. Angelus stepped out of the shadows to greet him. Spike looked nervous. He was panting for unneeded breath, and his hands were covered in his own blood. Vampires could move quickly. Angelus did. He was behind Spike in seconds, grinning madly, undoing Spike’s flies and pushing his dirt-covered trousers down. William started to struggle, realising what was going to happen, desperate to stop it. Willow felt sick and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to see this. Spike’s screams filled the air as Angelus forced himself into an unprepared channel. She silently begged for the spell to end, so she didn’t have to hear Spike’s sobs and Angelus’s sick laughter at the new vampire’s suffering.  
   
The light went bright. It filled her eyes and throat and for a second she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes were squeezed shut against the blinding whiteness. She felt hands on her shoulders, and was convinced she was in heaven, being welcomed by Jesse and her Grandma, but when she began to register voices, it was Tara she could hear.  
   
“Willow! Oh god, you’re back! Are you ok, sweetie?” Willow nodded. A shriek from the wardrobe filled her ears and brought her back to the present. Sharing a glance with Willow, Tara opened the wardrobe door and paused, before helped a trembling figure to its feet.  
   
“Anne!” Willow exclaimed.  
   
Anne’s quiet English tones were shaky when she spoke. “Who are you? Where am I? What have you done with my husband and my son?”  
   
“Tara, phone the others. I’ll explain when we’re all here.”  



	8. Chapter 8

Buffy had been surprised to get Tara’s phone call. When she had heard Tara’s voice on the other end of the line, she had been sure it was going to be a conversation she didn’t want to hear. She had thought she had lost her best friend. But all Tara had said was that Willow was fine, and could Buffy please go and get Xander and Spike? She had said she would, and that explained why she was knocking on Xander’s door for a second night running.  
   
Xander wasn’t surprised to see that he had slept the day away. He was grateful that the construction site was closed due to flooding and that he wasn’t needed in work for the remainder of the week. He yawned widely, and went to greet Olaf at the door for the second night.  
   
“Come in Buffy” he muttered sleepily, opening the door a crack. He wandered off to find fresh clothes while Buffy rushed to explain Tara’s request. Xander dressed quickly and was pulling his boots on before Buffy had finished her explanation. He grabbed his keys and grabbed a jacket. He was out the door before he noticed Buffy was still in his apartment. “Buffy?”  
   
“Where’s Spike? Tara was specific that he needed to be there…” She trailed off when she saw a flash of hurt cross Xander’s face. “He didn’t come home, did he?” Xander shook his head, the lump in his throat stopping him from speaking. “Ok, we’ll check the cemeteries and the Bronze, and if we can’t find him… I don’t know… He’ll turn up eventually.” She turned to leave and Xander dutifully followed, feeling like a lost puppy. _Have I screwed it up too bad this time?_  
   
Spike wasn’t at the Bronze. It had been a long shot, but he occasionally liked to play pool and cheat the rich frat boys out of their parent’s money. The two reached Giles’s apartment next, telling him a rushed version of the phone conversation and the need to find Spike. Giles looked ready to make a comment, but stopped when he saw the abject misery on Xander’s face. He wisely remained silent and joined his slayer and the boy he looked on as a son. They swung by two cemeteries and found no sign of Spike. The last cemetery they would try would be Restfield, where Spike’s old crypt had been. Xander doubted his vampire would be there; he had made it clear how much he hated the loneliness and the prison-like oppression.  
   
Buffy kicked the crypt door open. Spike was curled up on the lid of the sarcophagus. He had only managed to fall asleep in the last hour. Disoriented, he looked up and the first person he saw was Xander. He couldn’t hold back his smile and was about to go and hug his lover when he remembered why he was here in the first place. _Xander told me to go._ The smile fell from his lips and his shoulders slumped.  
   
“Why are you here?” His voice was barely above a whisper.  
   
“Tara called. Willow’s fine. She wants us all there.” Xander’s voice was empty of emotion and seemed to echo hollowly against the stone walls.  
   
“Right. Why are you _here_? Shouldn’t you be with your little friends, celebrating an’ all that? Or is this just your way of saying we’re over? Bringing your backup?” Spike nodded towards Buffy and Giles.  
   
“I wouldn’t even be here except Tara asked for you specifically” Xander’s words knocked all the fight out of Spike and he followed the others to Willow and Tara’s dorm room.   

   
   
Willow and Tara had no idea what to do. There was a woman in their room who was out of her time and place; a woman who should have died over a century ago. They had given Anne a cup of tea, and tried, evasively, to explain who they were, where they were and why Anne had arrived in a cupboard. They had decided to let Giles do the talking. They were doing a poor job of fielding Anne’s questions, and it was with enormous relief that they welcomed the knock on the door. Buffy and Giles stood there. Willow frowned.  
   
“Where’s Spike and Xander?”  
   
“They’re outside.” Giles informed her coldly. “Hopefully dealing with their relationship problems. I don’t know what you were thinking, trying that spell.” He hissed, looking for a second like he could live up to his former nickname. Ripper was most definitely near the surface.  
   
“I was…” Willow began. Giles interrupted.  
   
“Better people, more experienced wizards and witches, have been torn apart by that particular spell. Do you have any idea how many of them have been trapped forever in times outside of their own?” He was pissed. Willow decided it was for the best that she kept quiet and tried to look appropriately sorry.  
She let them into the apartment and the five of them sat and waited for Spike and Xander to arrive.

   
Out in the car park, Spike and Xander faced each other. Xander was angry again. Spike was unnaturally quiet.  
   
“I just wanted to make you feel better. You were hurting and I wanted to make it better for you. You wouldn’t have left without an excuse, so I tried to give you one.” Xander was surprised at the soft voice, Gilesian accent and genuine emotion in Spike’s voice.  
   
“Spike…” Xander began. He ran his fingers through his hair, making it flop into his eyes and drawing a tiny smile from Spike. “Not everything can be about me and you. Willow and Tara needed me, needed us. And you weren’t helping.”  
   
“What could I have done, Xan? Made more tea?” Spike snapped. “I’m bloody useless and we both know it. All I’m good for is being your whore. Oh, don’t give me that look. Think about it. Are we really together? Or is it just sex? When was the last time you bloody well reciprocated? You cum and roll over and go to sleep. If you’re not inside me, I don’t normally cum, and you never sodding notice, do you? We’ve been together four months nearly and I’ve lost count of how many blowjobs I’ve given you. You haven’t done that for me once! I love you and I know there’s times when you have to be with your mates, but she doesn’t want us to be together.” Spike was running out of steam and wanted to either be let into Xander’s arms, or left on his own; preferably the first option. “I love you, Xan. I wanted there to be more to us than just sex, but that’s what it looks like you want. That’s it. Now, I realised somewhere in that rant I turned into a bint, so I’ll go hand in my balls. Bet the slayer would brass them and use ‘em as a conversation piece.” He turned to leave. He wanted Xander to say something, to punch him, to kiss him, to scream, or shout or anything except stand there.  
   
“I didn’t realise. I’m sorry, baby.” Xander’s arms closed around Spike’s waist, and Spike leant back into the delicious heat that was Xander. “Spike?” Xander sounded so unsure that Spike was sure this would be the end of them. Slowly he turned in Xander’s arms, so they were face to face, not wanting to see the regret in those chocolate eyes. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Spike looked up, shocked. He had never been asked on a date before. He hoped that Xander took his answering kiss to mean yes. When the kiss was ended, their lips bruised from the force of it, they pulled apart. “Wanna go on up?” Spike shook his head and Xander laughed. “I know, I wanna keep kissing too.”  
   
They held hands when they walked through the car park. They kissed softly before walking through the door. They took their time and hugged on the staircase. When Willow opened the door, Spike and Xander were kissing with a passion, both of them hard and touching every inch of each other. She coughed to get their attention. Xander grinned a soppy grin and hugged Willow. “Me and Spike are happy again” he cheerfully told her. She wanted to smile. After seeing spike as a human, she knew he deserved happiness, that he was no different to any other man. That just made what was about to happen even harder.  
   
“Spike? There’s something I need to tell you.” She began. “Firstly, I’m sorry. Secondly, there’s someone here that needs to see you, and I’m sorry for that too.” Willow looked guilty, Xander noted. _That’s never a good sign…_ She led Xander and Spike into the room.  
   
Everyone except Willow was equally shocked when Spike laid eyes on Anne, and the only word he managed was “Mother?”  



	9. Chapter 9

All eyes in the room turned to Spike. Willow’s were full of unspoken apologies. Buffy’s and Tara’s curious and confused. Giles looked like he was desperate to start writing notes for the Watchers Diaries. Anne’s eyes held only fear, and that ripped into Spike’s unbeating heart. Xander… Xander looked lost.  
   
“Who are you? You’re not my son.” Spike visibly recoiled from the words, as if each syllable had been a whip that cracked against his skin. He couldn’t speak for the lump that had formed in his throat. He looked around at the others in the room, silently begging them to help him explain.  
   
“Anne…” Willow started, but Spike interrupted.  
   
“Mrs. Pratt. You address her as Mrs Pratt.” His voice was clipped, _and so much like his father_ , Willow thought. She tried again.  
   
“Mrs Pratt, this is your son. A lot has happened since you last saw him, and it may come as a shock. Would you like a cup of tea before we talk more?” She heard Spike’s mumbled reply of “God, yes. With two shots of Jack in”. Anne simply nodded in a way which reminded her so much of Tara when they had first met. She made tea for everyone, and although she had no alcohol in the flat, Spike remedied it by producing a hip flask and pouring a generous amount of amber liquid into his tea.  
   
“Explanations then, Red.”  
   
“When I was in the spell I saw things. About you, Spike. I saw your birth. Both of them. I saw how you got a scar on your leg,” She indicated on her own body the area that William had cut. Xander knew the scar was still there. “I saw you studying.” She turned to Anne. “This is the year 2001. It is June the 17th. I have a newspaper here with the date printed on…” Willow rummaged around in Tara’s bag, trying to find the newspaper she knew would be there. Finding it, she waved it in the air with a triumphant “Aha!” Handing the paper over to Anne, she glanced at the other occupants of the room. Xander stood by the door, Spike had slid down the wall and was trying not to lean his head against Xander’s leg in an effort to feel some comfort. Giles and Tara looked like Willow had gone mad and Buffy still looked confused.  
   
“This is madness. You are lying. The year is 1880, and _that_ is not my son! My son wears glasses and his hair is not that colour. You are trying to make me think I have gone mad. You would deceive me and put me in Bedlam with the lunatics!” Anne stood, eyes flicking to the door. “I will bid you good day, and suggest that you do not come to me or my family again.”  
   
Spike stood. His hand snaked out and he grabbed her wrist, turning her to face him. “Mother, please! Don’t leave me again”. Anne looked into those crystal blue pools, saw not the stranger she had first thought, but her son, her William. Spike caught her as she fainted.  
   
***  
   
Buffy phoned her own mother. After a brief call, with promises of explanations later, she announced that Joyce had agreed to let Anne stay in the spare room. Spike had become very protective over her, going into game-face when Willow tried to help him carry her to Giles’s car. Joyce showed Spike to the spare room, where she had put clean sheets on the bed, and had put out an old night dress that she had found in the back of the airing cupboard. Spike laid his mother on the bed. Joyce gave him an encouraging smile, and led him out of the room.  
   
Xander was waiting in the living room. His mind was racing. Spike’s voice snapped him out of his reverie. “Joyce has set up an air mattress in the basement for us.” Xander nodded. Spike continued, “I’m going to go down now, try and get some sleep and all that.” Another nod from Xander. “Should I wait up?” Shake. “Right.” Pause. “Xander?” Nod. “Will you hold me tonight?” Xander thought about how cute Spike sounded, like a lost little boy. So innocent. He heard the basement door close with a soft click, and realised he hadn’t given Spike an answer. Sighing, Xander got out of the armchair and opened the basement door. Spike was curled up on the far edge of the air mattress, already asleep. Smiling to himself, Xander undressed and climbed under the thick duvet, pulling Spike close to his chest. The vampire woke up enough to place a soft kiss on Xander’s cheek. They were both asleep within the minute.  
   
***  
   
When Xander woke, he was spooned around Spike, his hard cock rubbing nicely in the cleft of Spike’s butt. Reaching round to the front of the cooler body, he pinched Spike’s nipples, teasing them to hardness, before trailing his hands down to the vampire’s groin. Spike groaned, and arched into Xander’s hand, enjoying the feeling of the slightly calloused palm against his sensitive skin. Xander’s fingers teased between Spike’s legs, ghosting over his soft sac, down his perineum, and back again, ending at his nipples, _which are just begging to be sucked on,_ Xander thought.  
   
Rolling himself so he was above Spike, who was panting with need and biting his bottom lip in a way that went straight to Xander’s groin, he lowered his mouth over Spike’s right nipple, rolling the other in his fingers. He could feel Spike’s hard length digging in to his stomach, but he ignored it. Placing a row of kisses down the centre of Spike’s body, he moved lower, dipping his tongue into Spike’s navel, enjoying the gasp Spike let out. He spent a while there, tongue-fucking Spike’s navel and feeling his skin dampen with Spike’s precum.  
   
He looked up, wanting to see that Spike knew what would happen next, but Spike’s head was thrown back, lost in the sensations coursing through him. When Xander’s tongue touched the tip of his rock hard dick, he did look up. Spike nearly came at the sight. His cock slipped between Xander’s lips. Xander’s cheeks hollowed as he sucked, and Spike lost all semblance of control. He screamed his release.  
   
Upstairs, Buffy heard the shout and her slayer instincts kicked in. Grabbing a stake, she ran to the basement, followed by Willow, Tara, Joyce and Dawn, who had been eating breakfast together. At the bottom of the basement stairs, they stopped, all red faced at the spectacle that greeting them. Spike was on all fours, naked, gasping, with Xander pounding into him, both too far gone to care about their audience. Three more hard thrusts and Xander came, spilling into Spike, his hand wrapped round Spike’s cock, sparking Spike’s own orgasm. The two men collapsed together, eyes closed, spent and exhausted. None of the women moved. Agonising minutes slipped by, until Dawn broke the silence.  
   
“That was so hot.”  
   
Spike laughed as Xander scrambled to cover both himself and Spike with the duvet. He pulled the mortified human to him and held him close, trying not to laugh out loud. “Enjoy the show, ladies?” he smirked. Joyce turned and ushered her daughters and Willow back to the kitchen. Spike laid his head on Xander’s chest. When he was sure they were gone, he whispered “you were amazing, love. I love you Xander”. They fell back asleep together, Spike basking in the heat radiating from Xander’s still violently red cheeks.  
   
***  
   
In the kitchen, the four women looked at each other, none knowing quite what to say. Buffy had seen Spike naked at Xander’s apartment, but she had preferred to live in ignorance, pretending that her friend wasn’t sleeping with a vampire. Now the evidence had been staring them in the face. Or rather, they had been staring the evidence in the face.  
   
Willow was pale. It was one thing accepting that Spike might not be as bad as she thought, and that he and Xander were going to be a couple, regardless of what she thought… But seeing them like that…  
   
Dawn was bouncing with glee in her seat, grinning from ear to ear. They were hot together. More than hot. She knew, in that naïve teenage way, that Spike and Xander were meant to be together. Part of her was bummed that both the men she had crushes on were not only gay, but were gay together. The other part was dying to say how cute they were, and all the soppy stuff Spike would have threatened to kill her for, even jokingly.  
   
Joyce was just embarrassed for the boys. Especially Xander. She could remember a time when she herself had been caught in the act, and it was not something she ever wished to experience again. She couldn’t blame Buffy for reacting on instinct, nor could she blame Spike- quiet sex wasn’t for everyone, and evidently Spike was one of those people. So she did the one thing she could. “Pancakes, anyone?”  



	10. Chapter 10

Anne walked down the stairs. She was in a strange house, and she could have sworn she had seen a strange version of her son last night. She could smell food, and her nose led her to the kitchen. Willow, Tara, Buffy, Dawn and Joyce were all sat round the table, finishing off the last of their pancakes. She remembered them from last night, but they had not provided names, apart from the red-head. Willow, she recalled. They were dressed in strange clothes- only the older lady wore a skirt, and even that was indecently short- it stopped just below the knee.  
   
“Mrs Pratt, hi!” That was Willow, looking perky and bright.  
   
“Good morning, Miss Willow. I’m afraid I don’t know your friends here.” She indicated the others sat around the table.  
   
“Oh! This is Joyce, Buffy and Dawn Summers. This is their house. This is Tara.” Willow smiled nervously. Xander chose that moment to stumble up the basement stairs. He mumbled a hello before dashing off to the bathroom; Spike’s arm had been pressing uncomfortably on Xander’s over-full bladder for an hour or so. He eventually had to move Spike off him, or pee the bed, and he knew they would both prefer a dry bed. “That was Xander. He’ll be back in a bit.” And sure enough he was. He shot an embarrassed smile to the group that had been in the basement earlier, and smiled at Anne, who returned it. Joyce busied herself making more pancakes for Xander and Anne, while the conversation turned to more boring things, like school and Buffy’s “work”. Anne listened, surprised at how openly the group interacted, their strange language and unconventional dress.  
   
About ten minutes later, a very sleepy Spike made his way to the kitchen. Without looking at the others sitting around the table, he climbed into Xander’s lap, arms round the man’s neck. “You smell like pancakes. Can we have pancakes for dinner tonight?” Xander didn’t answer. He was too transfixed by the sorrow in Anne’s eyes.  
   
“Spike, you might want to get off me now, baby.” Spike shook his head and snuggled into Xander’s neck.  
   
“William? What are you doing?” Xander heard the soft “Bollocks!” that Spike whispered against his neck. “Why are you sitting on this man’s knee?”  
   
Spike spun round on Xander’s lap and looked his mother dead in the face. He took a deep breath, and reached for his mother’s hands. A nervous silence filled the room. “Mum… me and Xander, we’re… um… we’re together.”  
   
“What do you mean? I can see that you are together; you’re on this young man’s lap” She was confused. To the others, it was a car crash in slow motion.  
   
“I mean, we’re in a relationship.” She looked confused still, and that made something inside Spike snap. “We’re lovers. We live together, and fuck and I love him.” His voice cracked. “I’m gay, mum.” He turned back to Xander and buried back into the warm neck, mindless of the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. Tara reached for Willow’s hand, and laced their fingers together, amazed at Spike’s bravery in front of his mother. None of them knew what to do. Spike remained snuggled close to Xander for some time, long after the tears had dried. “Someone say something.”  
   
“William, are you saying that you are a homosexual?” Anne asked. Spike mumbled an affirmative against Xander’s throat. “I shan’t tell.” Spike looked at her, eyes red and slightly puffy, arms still tight round Xander’s neck, like the human was his only lifeline. “I know you are my son. I may have doubted it last night, but I know it now. You are my brave, brave boy. I shan’t let them hang you for being in coerced into the bed of another man.” Spike was out of Xander’s embrace in milliseconds, and in his mother’s arms. Xander felt lost, like he’d been replaced, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Joyce ushered the girls out the kitchen, giving Anne and Spike some privacy. Xander waited. He wanted Spike to say something, that he had come to Xander’s bed voluntarily, anything but the thick, sickly silence that hung around him.  
   
***  
   
Darkness descended. Spike had spent the day with Anne, and Xander had felt like a spare part. He had gone back to the apartment, showered and picked up some clean clothes for Spike. When he got back to the Summers’ residence, he saw Spike sitting on the steps of the porch, lit cigarette in one hard, talking animatedly to Anne. Xander felt his heart clench and a pang of jealousy go through him. _That’s his mom. I shouldn’t be jealous of that. He hasn’t seen her for more than a hundred years._  
  
“Hey. I brought you clothes.” He handed Spike the bag with black jeans and a t-shirt in. Spike never wore underpants. When Xander had learned that little bit of info, he had nearly cum in his own underpants. The thought of Spike walking round commando did things to Xander. There was more than a few times he had found himself balls-deep in Spike’s arse while on patrol. Fighting always made Spike horny. The obvious bulge in Spike’s jeans always made Xander horny. Illicit sex in a graveyard always got them both off, and Xander loved it.  
Spike took the bag and gave Xander a smile that made Xander turn to mush. _Oh, yeah, that’s the gorgeous man I love._ “See you inside.”  
  
Xander left Spike on the porch with Anne, and went down to the basement. It reeked of sex. Xander groaned and pushed his hand to his groin. Glancing up to make sure the door was closed this time, he unzipped his pants and took himself out. Thinking of Spike’s underpantless state had made him instantly hard. Leaning back against the wall, he allowed himself to think of his favourite wank fantasy.  
They had been in the car, heading back from picking Joyce up from the airport when she had been to a meeting for the gallery. Spike was singing along to the radio. Xander had steered the car into a secluded area and shut off the engine. Spike’s grin gave Xander goose-bumps. They had got out the car, and Xander had pushed Spike back against the hood of the car, kissing him hard. Xander had undone his own flies and made Spike grip his hard, hot cock. Spike had done so happily. Five minutes later, Xander had reached his sweet release and had bitten Spike’s neck hard enough to draw blood. Spike’s head had fallen back, his eyes closed, a look of complete bliss on his face. Xander had gone to touch Spike, but his hand was batted away. Spike looked pissed off and had got back into the car. Xander got back into the driver’s seat, and was about to ask what the hell was wrong, when he caught sight of the damp patch at Spike’s crotch. Xander felt himself harden again. He had made Spike cum in his pants. Mr I’m-The-Big-Bad. Mr Suave. Had shot his wad like a horny school boy.  
  
In the basement, Xander’s cum spilled over his fingers. Ever since that night, he had been trying to make Spike lose control again. It had been the hottest thing Xander had ever seen. Grabbing a handful of tissues from the box he had brought with him, he cleaned himself off and zipped himself back up.  
   
Upstairs, at the bottom of the staircase, Spike kissed his mother goodnight. They had both skirted round his confession, and it had been a wonderful day. He never thought he would see his mum again. And although he desperately wanted to tell her that Xander hadn’t forced him into doing anything, the fact Anne hadn’t shrunk back in disgust had been more than he had hoped for. He just hoped Xander saw it the same way.  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted non-con in this chapter.

Spike was still stood at the bottom of the stairs, thinking, when he heard a knock at the door. He frowned. It was gone midnight, and everyone except Giles was already here.  Spike shrugged and opened the door.  
  
“What the bloody hell do you want?” Buffy appeared at Spike’s shoulder, wanting to see the late night visitor.  
  
“Angel?” It was. All six foot something, brooding eyes and overhanging forehead of him. “When did you get into Sunnydale?”  
  
“Last night. Can I come in?”  
  
“I invited you already…”  
  
“I was trying to be polite.” Spike scoffed at that. Angel turned an angry look on him, making Spike chuckle. Xander joined them from the basement.  
  
“Spike, what’s going on? Oh, it’s Deadboy. Never mind.” Angel sniffed. Features shifting into game face, he yanked Spike roughly though the door and tossed him on the grass. Large hands crushed Spike’s throat. Spike was helpless against the larger body. Buffy was holding Xander back, knowing how dangerous it would be for a human to get between two Master vampires in a fight.  
  
“You stink of that boy, William. I’m going to rip him limb from limb for touching what’s mine. And you are mine, boy. I’m going to make sure you never forget that again.” Angel ripped the button off Spike’s jeans, and tore the zipper clean off the denim. Spike started to struggle, knowing what would come next. _Not again. Never again._ By the time Angel’s flies were undone, Spike was thrashing under him, but the larger vamp had him pinned effectively. Angel flipped Spike over so he was on his stomach. Spike could hear Xander’s shouts, and the screams and pleas of someone else. He realised it was his own voice, but he didn’t seem in control of it, like he was internally frozen with fear, but his brain was just carrying on on autopilot. He felt the cold night air hit the skin of his back, legs and exposed backside. The humiliation that this would happen in front of the slayer and her groupies was pale in comparison to the knowledge that Xander would see and know how weak he was. Just as Angel was about to enter his body, it all stopped.  
   
He curled into a foetal position and was relieved to feel Xander’s strong arms around him, so far removed from the brutality of Angelus. Tears blurred his vision, but he could make out figures silhouetted against the light from the house, dragging a still body with them. He heard footsteps approach. Willow’s voice permeated the fog in his brain, but he couldn’t make out the words. She was holding a two-by-four, stained with blood on one edge. She walked towards the house. Spike could hear Xander’s calming voice, and was helped to his feet. He felt Xander’s hands at his hips, and tried to shy away, but the human held firm. Fixing his own belt through the belt loops on Spike’s torn jeans, trying to restore some small amount of Spike’s dignity, he helped the vampire back to the house.  
   
In the kitchen, Joyce was making drinks. She placed two mugs in front of Spike, one full of hot chocolate, the other filled with blood. Xander got a mug of cocoa too. Spike didn’t look up, afraid to see pity in Joyce’s eyes. When the mugs were empty, Spike stood on shaky legs, and headed towards the bathroom. Xander heard the shower turn on, and went to retrieve the bag of clothes that had been left on the stairs. He knocked on the bathroom door. When he got no answer, he knocked again and went in. Spike was leaning against the sink, staring into the empty mirror, the shower causing steam to curl around him. Xander left the bag by the door and left Spike alone with his thoughts.  
   
In the kitchen, Buffy was on the phone, Willow and Tara were holding each other, Dawn was being comforted by Joyce, and Anne had joined the sorry group. Buffy had chained Angel up in the basement.  
  
“Alexander? Is William… I…” Anne trailed off, unable to voice what she wanted to say.  
  
“He’ll be ok. He’s a survivor.” The words sounded hollow to Xander’s ears, his voice scratchy. Buffy hung up the phone.  
  
“That was Angel Investigations. I just spoke to Angel, who is in L.A. and still soulful. So whoever that is tied up in the basement, he must have come from the same timeline as Anne. Willow, we need to find a way to send them back to their proper place in time, and anyone or anything that got dragged along for the ride.”  
  
“Willow knocked him out. If he can be hurt, can’t he be staked?” Dawn asked.  
  
“Sweetie, we don’t know how that would effect time as we know it. If we kill him now, it will upset the timeline, and that’s very dangerous.” Tara. Always the voice of reason. “If we disturb the past, we risk changing the future. Like, if Angel died here, he wouldn’t have been there to help Buffy. If Buffy had died, or hadn’t been called as a result of changing time, we might have never met, and we wouldn’t be able to be here now.” Dawn looked thoroughly miserable. Xander understood. It was the same feeling he had got when he was six years old, and the actor playing his favourite superhero had died. It was the realisation that your hero isn’t as infallible as you had once thought. For Dawn, it was that Spike could be hurt. The strongest person she knew, next to Buffy.    
   
The shower shut off. No one knew what do to or say or where to look, so they looked at the table and stayed silent. Spike came in, slipping into Xander’s arms, glaring at the others, daring them to say something. “Angel’s in L.A.” Xander told him. “Buffy’s just spoken to him on the phone.” Spike stayed silent.  
  
“We’re going to find a way to send him back. We just have to find the right spell.” Willow looked nervous. Spike hated it.  
  
“No. No more spells. You can’t keep messing with magic to suit your own wants and desires. It isn’t right. You can kill him, but I won’t let you send him back.”  
  
“Spike, we have to get him back to his proper timeline…”  
  
“NO! If you send him back, you’ll have to send mother back too, and I won’t let you do that. You can’t give her back to me just to take her away again.” He was crying again. He felt like an emotional wreck. Climbing off Xander’s lap, he hugged Anne, revelling in the comfort she gave him. “I’m going home now, mum. Will you be ok here? I don’t like the thought of you here with _him._ ” Anne nodded, not wanting to break contact with her son.”  
  
“I’ll be fine, William.” They broke the hug. Spike took his duster from the coat rack in the hall, and went to leave. Xander followed. He pretended not to notice the hesitation when Spike reached for the door handle. Xander waved goodbye to the others, and threw his arm around Spike’s shoulders. And if he hugged Spike tighter to him when they passed where Angelus had had Spike pinned, neither said anything.  
   
***  
   
“I won’t let them send her back.”  
  
“They have to. There’s a whole thing about changing time…”  
  
“I don’t care! She’s my mum. What would you do if it was someone you loved?”  
  
“I’d do what I had to. I’d do what was for the best.”  
  
“Oh, don’t give me that white knight bullshit. Look me in the eyes, and tell me that if that was Jesse she had brought back, you wouldn’t do everything in your power to keep him here.” Xander’s look said it all. “See? She stays.” Spike switched the light off, leaving Xander to think. He stayed awake until morning. Making sure Spike was still asleep, he padded barefoot into the living room and phoned the Summers’ house. Buffy picked up on the third ring.  
  
“Do the spell. Just… just do the spell and end all this now.”  
  
Xander hung up the phone.    



	12. Chapter 12

Dust motes glittered in the bright sunlight. Buffy and Willow were sat cross legged on the floor, facing each other. Herbs and candles and open books surrounded them. Deep inside, they knew something was wrong, even though the birds kept singing, and the sun shone, and it was the right thing to do. By unspoken agreement, they stood. Buffy went to the basement. Willow went to the room Joyce had set aside for Anne. Both steeled themselves, and pushed open their respective doors. Emptiness greeted them both.  
   
In Xander’s apartment, Spike reached across the bed, looking to pull the warm body close to his own cooler one. Finding nothing, he yawned, and got out of bed. Xander was sitting on the couch, watching the blank television screen, a beer in his hand. That worried Spike. Xander wasn’t a big drinker. Crouching down, Spike took the bottle from Xander’s hand. “I’ve done something bad, Spike. Something I don’t know that you will forgive me for.” Thick, nauseating dread filled Spike’s stomach. “I told Willow to send them back.”  
   
Spike recoiled. Numb shock paralysed him. Xander’s lips were moving, but all Spike could hear was a faint buzzing sound. He had no recollection of how he got to the bathroom, but he emptied his stomach into the toilet bowl, the acid burning his throat. He could sense Xander at the doorway, watching, but paid little attention to him. Painful retches and dry heaves later, Spike flushed the toilet and turned to the human. Words failed him. Pushing past Xander, Spike located the first aid kit. It was a Scooby must-have. Finding the pain killers, he emptied the pack into his hand and swallowed the whole lot dry. Staggering back to the bedroom, Spike passed out.  
   
***  
   
Willow and Tara spent the day scouring antiques shops. Willow had a clear image in her mind of what she was looking for, and it was driving her crazy that she couldn’t find it. When the spell was done, and the rooms had been checked, Willow had woken Tara and left to go shopping. It was, to her, essential that she found what she was looking for. Buffy hadn’t gone with her. She had simply crawled into her mother’s bed, looking for the comfort she knew she would find.  
   
***  
   
Xander knew he had messed up. After what Spike had been through that night, Xander knew he should never have made that call. At the time, it had been the best idea in the world. Any number of bad things- _Deadboy Mk I being a perfect example-_ could have been dragged into their world. Ending the spell would protect them all. Xander brooded until dusk fell and a very groggy Spike woke up.  
   
Spike remembered. He didn’t want to remember. Xander had betrayed him. Once again, he had sided with his friends instead of his lover. It hurt. Spike flung himself off the bed. Dressed in his usual black denim and cotton armour, he headed towards the door. Xander saw him leaving, tried to stop him. Spike snarled, in full game face, and shoved Xander out of his way. He sprawled on the floor, anguish clear in his eyes. Spike grabbed his coat from where he had dropped it the night before. The door slammed shut before Xander was back on his feet.  
   
***  
   
Spike wandered the parks and cemeteries for hours. He had no idea where he was going. He didn’t want to be found, he knew that much. That meant the crypt was no good to him. But he could pick up the rest of his clothes, and the hidden cash he kept there, if it hadn’t been stolen by some other demon, or homeless resident of Sunnydale. Changing direction, he sped up his pace.  
   
He found the money and his clothes untouched. He found a backpack that Dawn had left behind after a sleep-over/ study session that he was fairly certain Buffy had no idea about. Packing his meagre possessions into the bag, he slung it over one shoulder. Now with a clear plan in his head, he went off in search of what he needed.  
   
He found it quicker than he had thought. It was outside a bar, all shiny and sleek and black. And it had an owner who was just heading into the bar. Raising his voice, he called to the man.  
“’scuse me, mate. You wouldn’t know where the police station is, would you? Some tosser just stole my wallet.” He was a good liar when he wanted to be. The man was about to give him directions, when Spike “accidently” tripped on the curb and caught himself on the man. With a brief apology, he pretended to listen to the directions. “Cheers, mate.” The man nodded, and went into the dim, smoky bar. “And cheers for the keys, too,” Spike said to himself, running his fingers over the keys to the shiny black Harley. Kicking the bike into gear, he roared off out of town, leaving Sunnydale in the dust.    
   
***  
   
He got there about an hour before sunrise. There were only two places he could be right now, and they were both the places he wanted to be in least of all. Pulling up outside the gates of the Hyperion, (he had been bored enough to read the letters Cordelia sent to Xander) he hesitated. After what the Angel of Timelines Past had done to him, he was reluctant to see the soulful version. That reluctance was eased somewhat, when he saw the souled avenger, his cheerleader and the Watcher- _seriously?-_ traipsing towards the heavy front doors, covered in thick, green slime. The sight made Spike laugh loud enough for the goo covered group to hear.  
   
At Angel’s steely gaze, Spike swallowed, holding back his nervousness. “Any room at the inn? It being nearly Christmas an’ all…”  
  
Angel glowered. “Spike, it’s the middle of June. And you are not welcome here.”  
He turned back to the door, letting Wesley and Cordelia in first. He nearly missed Spike’s quiet “Please, Sire. I got nowhere else to go.” The younger vamp looked so dejected, sitting astride a Harley (which Angel suspected was stolen) that he softened.  
  
“One night. And this better not be a trick, boy.” Angel noticed Spike flinch at the name, but didn’t say anything. He let Spike in, and shut the door behind them both. “Now tell me why you’re here. Make it quick- I want a shower sometime soon.”  
  
“Right. Short version it is then. Me and Xander are… were… are together. Willow took issue and did a spell. Brought back an old, less soulful version of you and a human version of me mum. Original you tried to rape me in Buffy’s front garden. Xander sent old you and my mother back to your… their… whatever… they’re not here anymore.”  
  
Angel looked sceptical. “That doesn’t explain why you’re here…”  
  
“I didn’t get to say goodbye. He sent her away, against my wishes and didn’t let me say goodbye.” Spike dropped down onto one of the sofas.  
  
“Listen, I’m going to take a shower, then I’ll come back down and you can tell me the long version, ok?” Spike just nodded. Angel was worried. He wasn’t used to a quiet Spike. He was used to the loud, brash, annoying Spike. Xander Harris would have a lot to answer for.  
  
When Angel got back to the lobby, hair still damp from his shower, Spike was curled up exactly where he had been when Angel had left, fast asleep. Gently, trying not to wake the blonde, he scooped the younger vampire up and carried him to the room next to his own. This conversation could wait til later.  
  



	13. Chapter 13

As soon as Angel woke, he went to check on Spike. Part of him knew this was just to make sure the blonde hadn’t trashed the room or slaughtered Angel’s friends. The other part, the gentler, more soulful part, knew it was because he knew something was up, something more than the brief explanation last night. The heavy door creaked when Angel pushed it open.  
   
At some point in the day, Spike had shucked off his clothes, which were now spread over the floor. The covers were bunched up next to the naked vampire, and he was hugging them tight. Angel shut the door again, before the temptation of Spike’s creamy skin became too much for him. In the old days, before gypsies and souls and a gaping distance between their little family, Angel had spent hours watching Spike sleep, drawing the perfect curves of his shoulder and backside. Sometimes he watched Spike take Drusilla, listening to her screams of pleasure, but Angel always watched for something else. When Dru was sated and asleep, Spike would withdraw from her body, still hard, and kneel back. One hand would work his cock, the other teasing his nipples or balls, until he was shaking with the need to release. When the pre-cum was freely flowing and his balls were drawn up tight, that hand would snake behind him, stroke the tight entrance, and slip one finger inside. Angel had once seen Spike lay on his back to pleasure himself, and had watched the boy shoot so hard his semen hit the headboard of the bed, streaking his face and stomach with white, viscous fluid. The next day, Angelus had taken Spike dry, the only lubricant the boys own blood. Dru got off on Angelus’s forcefulness. Spike didn’t. Spike fought it to Angelus’s release, and was left, broken and bleeding on the floor.  
   
In the Hyperion, Angel sighed. He had done wrong, and didn’t know how to fix it. In lieu of a real plan, he grabbed a mug and bag of blood and heated it in the microwave. As he drank it, he thought on what Spike had told him. _Spike and Harris. I never saw that one happening._ Heating a second mug for Spike, he went back to the naked blonde’s room.  
   
***  
   
Willow had found what she had been looking for. It was the perfect thing. After a few last minute fixes, she put it in a bag and went over to Xander’s. Tara and Buffy had opted to stay behind, wary of the reaction they would receive. Biting her lip, she knocked on the door.  
   
Hearing the knock, Xander flung himself towards the door. He was disappointed when he saw Willow, but let her in anyway. “I just came by to give this to Spike. Where is he?”  
   
“He’s not here. I told him I let you do the reversal spell, and he left. He pushed me out the way and left. I fucked up, Wills.” He pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, making her “eep!”. “What am I gunna do?”  
   
“We’ll find him and bring him back. Come on. We’ll call a group meeting at the Magic Box.” Willow dragged Xander out and closed the door behind them.  
   
***  
   
Angel hoped Spike would be awake when he brought him his breakfast. He breathed a sigh of relief when sleepy blue eyes blinked at him. Spike stretched and Angel stared at the way Spike’s muscles were highlighted in the dim light.  
“Like what you see?”  
   
“I, um, I brought you blood.” Spike sat up, dragging a sheet over his groin to cover his nudity. Angel crossed over the bed, handing Spike the mug. He sat down on the end of the bed, putting distance between himself and temptation. Spike took the mug.  
   
“Cheers.” He downed it quickly, putting the empty mug on the bedside cabinet. An awkward silence passed between them. Then, “Wanna fuck? At least I know with you that I’ll hurt. Better than being hurt months down the line.”  
   
“Spike… Whatever problems you and Xander have, don’t involve me.” Spike just rolled over and wiggled his arse invitingly. Angel ached to bite the muscular globes. Spike flipped back round and laid there, quiet.  
   
“I miss him. He’s the first bloke… since you… and he hurt me so bad.” Angel opened his arms and Spike accepted the hug. It was nice. It was… family. “I should hate you for what you did to me. I should hate you for what you… the old you… tried to do. Y’know, Willow whacked him over the head with a plank of wood. Didn’t get to appreciate it at the time, but I can see the humour now. I always thought you were thick as a plank. Irony, isn’t it?” He laughed at Angel’s growl, but quickly sobered. “Why did he have to hurt me? He flipped when I tried to suck him off when Willow was in that spell. But when it’s me that it affects? He stabs me in the back! No, that would’ve hurt less. And I could’ve healed from it too. And he only just gave me a blowjob. I’ve been doing that for him since our first night together. I’m not going back. If you want me out of here, I can be gone at sundown. Just don’t tell him, or any of them, I was here.” Spike finally ran out of steam and let Angel card his fingers through his hair, working the gel out and letting the natural curls reform. They stayed like that for hours.  
   
***   
   
In the Magic Box, Giles was ripping Willow a new one. The others all pretended not to hear, but it was hard. Giles rarely yelled. But now, phrases and words like “stupid girl” and “idiotic” and “consequences” could be easily distinguished from the next room. Xander had a cup of tea in his hands. Not because he liked the taste, but because it reminded him of Spike. Now it served as a painful reminder of what he had done.  
   
Giles came out of the training room, followed by a sheepish looking Willow. He took one look at Xander’s kicked puppy expression and sighed, polishing his glasses. _Spike wears glasses. He left them in our bedroom. Does that mean he’s going to come back?_  
“I think we can all agree that Willow has been very foolish. Some of you are also culpable. Buffy, for helping with the most recent magic. Xander for allowing them to do so. But this is not the time to pass blame. Has anyone had any contact with Spike?” Everyone shook their heads. “Where is he most likely to be? I presume you have checked his usual haunts- the cemeteries, bars and crypts?” More head shakes, and an exasperated sigh from Giles. “Do you think you should maybe look?” Nods.  
  
They agreed to split up to look for Spike. Willow paired with Xander, Giles with Buffy, and Tara stayed at the Magic Box in case he showed up there. They were to meet back at the shop in two hours, with or without Spike.  
  
Half an hour into their search, the rain started. Just a few drops in the wind at first, but that quickly turned into a down-pour worthy of building an arc. Between them, they had searched a dozen parks, cemeteries and graveyards. Giles and Buffy began searching bars. When it looked like they would have to turn back and give up, they caught a break. Giles had been describing Spike to the barman in an out-of-the-way bar, when a man sitting at the bar piped up.  
  
“That bastard stole my bike. Said he was looking for the police station and took the keys out my pocket. What a jerk.”  
Buffy and Giles shared a look. “Which direction did he go?” The man shrugged.  
  
“This was last night. I’m just drowning my sorrows now, man.” Giles thanked the man for his help and the Slayer and the Watcher went back to the shop to tell the others what they knew. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.  



	14. Chapter 14

There was a large map of California on the table. California had a lot of places people could go. It had a lot of places a vampire could disappear in. Giles extrapolated from the time frame that Spike must still be in the state, as he wouldn’t have been able to make enough progress travelling at night to cross the state lines. There was the additional factor that he had taken no money from Xander’s apartment and had no blood with him. That would make getting gas for the bike harder, but not impossible, and he would have to eat at some point.  
   
They had asked Xander questions. Endless questions, it felt like. And with every one, he felt himself sinking slowly further under the depression that gripped him. Questions like “Where does Spike want to go?”, “How often does he need to eat?” and “Who are his friends?” had Xander completely stumped. At night, after they had had sex, Spike would cuddle up and ask Xander questions like these about himself. Xander had lapped up the attention. It was more than his friends had asked in forever. He knew that Willow wanted to visit France and England, and that Buffy’s dream was to be a normal girl, but they had never taken the time to ask him these things. Sure, they were busy with slaying and research and school and families, but it would have been nice. Spike knew everything there was to know about Alexander LaVelle Harris. Xander was just coming to realise how little he knew about Spike.  
   
But there was one thing he did know. And that was that Spike was unpredictable in a predictable way. He would be in the place they wouldn’t have thought of looking. That meant they needed to look for the places Spike liked least.  
  
“Did anyone check the initiative? Spike would go there if he thought we wouldn’t look. Stealing the bike could have been a diversion, so we wouldn’t look in Sunnydale.” Xander shuddered, thinking of Spike back down by the cages, the stench of decomposing demons and soldiers burning his nostrils. He would hate it, but it made sense to hide out there. Together they made a list of places Spike had been vocal in his dislike of; the Crawford Street mansion, the Initiative, the factory, and his crypt topped the list. The crypt had been searched by Buffy and Giles. They hadn’t mentioned to Xander the upturned furniture and other signs of either a struggle or a pissed of vamp.  
   
Giles offered to search the initiative alone while the others searched the factory and the mansion. He had no desire to see the places he had torched and been tortured in. Buffy wouldn’t let him, claiming that they had no idea what Spike would do if he found one of them alone. She had a horrible feeling that the chip wasn’t working. After all, he had been able to push Xander over and hadn’t felt or reacted to the pain he should have felt. Together, they went off to search for a vampire that wasn’t there.  
   
***  
   
Angel had told Wes and Cordelia a much shortened version of Spike’s story- “He needs a place to stay. If you don’t like it, don’t come into work until he’s gone”. Neither were happy about the arrangement, but when they saw Spike’s slumped shoulders and dejected look, they made no comment. Angel had tried multiple times to get Spike off the sofa he had planted himself on after being dragged out of bed, pushed into the shower, and clean clothes thrown at him when he got back out, naked and dripping. Angel had drooled slightly. They knew something was really wrong when Cordelia made a scathing comment about Spike’s hair, and the vamp just took it- no snark, no witty comebacks, no insults.  
   
The usual bribes weren’t working either. Angel told Spike he would pay him to help Cordelia with the filing - _that would keep Spike occupied for a few minutes, AND the filing might be in something resembling order when he was done_ – but was told to shove off. He offered Spike human blood, even if it made his soul cringe and made him want to brood in a darkened room. He told Spike this, and was rewarded with a slight twitch of those amazing lips. Spike didn’t want the blood though. Secretly, Angel was glad.  
   
Just before Sunset, Angel Investigations got a client. It was a Grad’Ay demon. They were mostly harmless, unless you happened to be a chicken. Spike quite liked chicken, especially spicy or Chinese style. Grad’Ay demons liked to eat them whole, and with the feathers still attached. Personally, Spike couldn’t see the appeal. This particular demon- “please, call me Titus.” Spike raised an eyebrow- lived in a small commune, which had a poltergeist problem. Taking the address, some more details, and a deposit payment, they were able to leave in under an hour. Spike opted to tag along, mostly because he wanted to see Angel and the cheerleader trying to protect their hair from the poltergeist’s wrath.  
   
***  
   
All three places had been a bust. No-one knew quite what to say to make Xander feel better. When they returned to the Magic Box, Buffy announced she was going to call L.A. to see if Angel had heard anything about Spike. Xander was too upset to care. It was all the little things that he had overlooked, that hadn’t seemed important at the time. Those were what would have made the difference between Spike staying and leaving. Now he thought about it, there were so many of them. He took a pad of paper out of the draw behind the till, found a pen there too, and began making a list of those small, small things.  


  * Sex-



                   I call it fucking. He calls it “making love”.  
                    He sucks me off. I don’t suck him off.  
                  He likes cuddles after. I like cuddles after.

  * Food



                He cooks for me when I’m at work so I can have dinner when I get home  
                He makes my lunches  
                I buy him blood

  * Talking



              I talk, he listens.  
              He asks, I answer

  * Other



              He can be a slob ( **UNWASHED MUGS** )  
              I don’t know much about him.  
              I love him.  
              I hope he still loves me.  
   
Dropping the paper on the table, Xander closed his eyes and pictured Spike’s smile. Not the smirk, or the seductive grin, but the real genuine smile- the one that made Xander’s tummy go all squiggly, and his groin tingle. He missed his vampire. And when he found him again, he would fix the things he had messed up on.  
   
***  
   
The phone rang as the Angel Investigations team, plus Spike, trudged back in, laughing and joking together. Angel was thrilled (within reasonable, non-perfectly happy peramiters) that Spike had perked up. Now he was getting even with Cordy for the hair comment from earlier.  
  
“Wes, can you answer the phone? I’ll put the weapons away. Not that we needed them…”  
  
“I need to put the books and exorcism equipment back. I’m not trusting Cordy to do it after last time. She can take the call.”  
  
“Spike, get the phone, I really need to pee!” Spike gave a two fingered salute to Cordelia as she rushed past him to the bathroom, but picked up the phone anyway.  
  
“Angel Investigations.”  
  
There was a pause on the other end of the line before Buffy’s voice asked  “… Spike…?”  
  
There was only one answer to that. “Oh, bollocks.”  



	15. Chapter 15

“… Spike…?”  
  
“Oh, bollocks.” That was not a voice he wanted to hear. “What do you want?”  
  
“I was going to ask Angel if he had seen you. Obviously he has.”  
  
“Yeah.” There was a loaded pause. “Is Xan okay?”  
  
“No, he’s not eating, looks like death warmed up and he misses you.”  
  
“I can’t come back, Buffy.” That worried her. Spike never used her name- he called her Slayer. “He hurt me more than he’ll ever know. If your mum died, and you got her back for one day, and the poof or soldier boy took her away from you, could you forgive them?” Buffy’s answering silence was enough. Spike’s words were eerily close to real life, even if he didn’t know it. Joyce was ill. Buffy thought hard about what she would do if she was in Spike’s place.  
  
“I understand.”  
  
“At sunset, tell him I love him. And not to come looking for me. I’ll be gone by the time he gets here.” Spike hung up without waiting for an answer.  
   
***  
   
Buffy placed the receiver in its cradle. She was torn between telling Xander the truth, telling him what Spike said, and keeping quiet. Back at the table, one look at Xander had Buffy’s mind made up. “He says he loves you. He’s at Angel’s, and said that he’ll be gone before you get there. If you go now, you’ll be able to catch him. He said not to tell you for another few hours.” Xander had grabbed the car keys from Giles’ jacket pocket and was out the door. Buffy hoped he would get there in time.  
   
Giles’s car was red, shiny, and best of all, fast. _Giles’s midlife crisis has paid off._ Xander knew he was breaking the speed limit, but couldn’t bring himself to care. He cranked the radio up and sang along to Bat out of Hell, music spurring him on. The drive took less time than he expected. _Cordy, you are a goddess. I will have to write more often._ There was the hotel. There was the stolen bike. Parking the car next to the bike, Xander rushed to the hotel door. He tried his luck and found the door open. Cordelia was at the desk. When she saw him, she ran into his arms, gave him a hug, then slapped him soundly round the face.  
  
“That’s for making Spike come here!” Xander laughed at her indignant expression.  
  
“Is he still here?”  
  
“Yeah, he’s with Angel. Come with me.” She led him to the basement, towards a closed door. Xander felt sick. From behind the door, he could hear heavy breathing, gasps, curses and grunts. _Too late. I’m too fucking late._ Cordelia knocked once and pushed the door open.  
   
Spike and Angel were shirtless and barefoot. Spike had a black eye, was panting heavily and there was blood on his knuckles. Angel had a broken nose, scratches and scrapes on his chest and back, and a split lip. They pulled apart when the door opened. Spike grinned at Cordy. “I won. I told you he’s a big fat poof and I would win. Pay up!” It was at that point that Spike caught sight of Xander, half hidden in the shadows behind Cordelia. His eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I came to find you. Come home, Spike.”  
  
“Sunnydale isn’t home. Not anymore. Go home, Xander. If it’s ok with Angel, you can send my things here.” Angel nodded. “I’m not going back there.” Angel moved behind Spike, reaching for their shirts. He handed Spike’s over and re-dressed. Spike held his shirt in front of him, still glaring at Xander. Then everything went black.  
   
Xander stared at Angel. Spike was unconscious. Angel had made Spike unconscious. The older vampire picked up the unconscious body and handed him to Xander.  
   
“Take him back to Sunnydale. Give him time. Don’t expect everything to be exactly how it was. He’s still hurting.” Xander nodded, gripping the smaller body close to his chest. Angel covered Spike with a blanket to protect him from the sun’s deadly rays. As Xander turned towards the car, Angel spoke again. ”Don’t hurt him again. If you do, I will hunt you down. I’m sure the soul will let me torture you for the sake of my family.” Xander swallowed nervously, nodded and all but ran to the borrowed red car. When the vehicle was out of sight, Angel sighed. He would be visiting Sunnydale very soon.  
   
***  
   
Somewhere between Los Angeles and Sunnydale, Spike had woken up in the back of Giles’s car. Xander had expected shouting and threats of violence. Spike stayed silent. Xander didn’t even try to make conversation. When they pulled up outside the Magic Box, Spike followed Xander in, covered by the shadows cast by a setting sun. Willow was on her feet and hugging Xander. Spike shuffled into the training room. Willow and Buffy exchanged looks. Buffy made a call to the pizza place, ordering lots of pizza, sides, chips, and fizzy drinks. Willow went to find Spike.  
   
The back door was ajar, and the smell of cigarette smoke drifted back inside. Gripping the package tighter in her hands, she went out to find him. He was sat on an upturned packing crate, smoking as she knew he would be. He glanced at her, before turning back to staring at the wall. Without saying a word, because really there were no words to say, she shoved the small parcel at him. He considered it for a moment, before taking off the brown paper. It was a photo frame. With a picture of his mother and him. He had been sitting on the porch of Buffy’s house smoking and talking, when Dawn had taken the photo. He had paid it no attention at the time. The Spike in the picture looked happy. The Spike holding the photo looked like he was going to cry. He had a picture of his mother. No matter what Xander had done, he had this picture. There was an envelope too, with his name in neat Victorian copperplate handwriting. His hands shook as he opened it.  
   
William,  
   
I am sorry I cannot say goodbye in person. Miss Willow has informed me of the need to undo the “magic spell” she used. I have conversed with her, and have agreed that it is for the best that I go. You will always be my brave, brave boy. I do not agree with your desire to live in sin with Alexander, but I see that he makes you happy in a way I have never seen a woman make you.  
   
When I return, I will have no memory of my stay in your strange times. I am writing you this letter so that you will have a tangible memory of that time.  
   
With love,  
            Your mother.  
   
Spike stood, the letter held tight in his hand, and hugged Willow equally tight. She had given him back a part of what had been taken away. Xander had been told to find Spike and Willow when the pizza had arrived. He found them still hugging. He cleared his throat to get their attention. They broke apart and wiped the tears from their cheeks. Willow gave Xander a brief hug before going inside to eat. Spike and Xander stood there for a while longer, neither one looking at the other, until Xander took a step back to let Spike in. As the vampire passed the human, he stopped. Xander reached out and touched Spike’s face. Spike leaned into the touch. One of his hands sneaked round Xander’s waist, dragging him closer.  
  
“Spike, I…”  
  
“Shut up. Talk later.” And Spike was kissing Xander- deep, passionate kisses. Xander backed Spike into the training room wall and lifted him up. Using one hand to keep Spike supported, he used the other to undo their jeans. Spike’s arms were still around Xander, hands running through his hair and over his shoulders. In one swift move, Xander impaled himself in Spike, the blonde’s hiss of pain swallowed in the kiss. Spike was moving, digging his heels into Xander’s hips, urging him on. All too soon it was over, Spike cumming all over both their shirts. The clenching of Spike’s internal muscles triggered Xander’s own climax. They kept kissing for some time after, neither wanting to face the inevitable talking that would have to follow.  
  



	16. Chapter 16

Spike groaned as Xander’s softening cock slipped out of him. He had missed the sensation of being stuffed full of his hot, human flesh. Xander released his death grip on Spike’s hips, and just held him, kissing him gently. Spike ran his fingers under Xander’s shirt and down his back, feeling the remnants of the sweat that lingered there from their coupling. They were interrupted by Buffy, who had come looking for them, intent on feeding Xander pizza.  
   
“Xan, foods getting cold and we’re eating what’s left if you’re not there s… woah!” She took one look at their dishevelled state, guilty faces and semen stained shirts and backed out, leaving them to it. Spike groaned and laid his head on Xander’s shoulder.  
   
Xander sighed. “We should talk.” It was an inevitable talk that neither wanted, but both knew was necessary. “I’m sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for not treating you right. Especially in bed. That’s gunna change, though. I’m gunna make you happy, I promise. And I’ll take you out places and I’ll make love with you…. …. If you still want me.” The words hung between them. Just when Xander began to think it was all too little, too late, Spike combed his fingers through Xander’s hair and leaned in for a kiss.  
   
“I love you. You’re the first bloke I’ve ever said that to, so don’t think I’m just saying it. I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you’ve done.” Xander closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears he knew would fall if he looked at Spike. “Xan, when I was at the Poof’s, I told him to fuck me. Wanted him to hurt me.” He felt Xander pull back from him. “I think my arse is bleeding now, but I wanted him to tear me up, break me. Fuck, Xan, I would have let him dust me.” Xander felt sick.  
   
“Did he touch you? Did that bastard hurt you?” His voice was shaky and his hands were balled into fists. Spike shook his head and kissed Xander again, easing the rage and tension in the muscular arms.  
   
“No. He didn’t touch me. I was hurting. And I wanted to hurt you.”  
   
“Congratulations, it worked. You would have let him do that, after he nearly raped you?”  
   
“Don’t pretend you know me, or anything about vampire lore. He’s my Sire. It’s not rape. He took what he was entitled to. Rape only happens to women. I’m not a woman.”  
   
“Rape only happens to w… FUCK Spike! How bad did he fucking brainwash you?! It’s rape regardless of gender. He had you pinned to the fucking floor and had your pants down. I know you didn’t want it. Fuck, I should have made you talk about it. I’m such a fucking idiot.” Spike was withdrawn. He had always blindly believed in Sire’s Rights and vampire lore. He may have hated it, but that’s just what happened in all vampire families, right? Xander braced himself, not really wanting to know the answer to the next question. “How many times?”  
   
“Dunno. He wouldn’t do it if Darla or Dru were around, so it was only of they were shopping or hunting. An’ when I was in the chair.” Xander swallowed the bile that rose up, and made a mental note to kill Angel the second he had a chance. “Xan? Do you hate me? I’m sorry I went to see him.”  
   
“I don’t hate you, baby. I hate him. I wanna punch his stupid face in.” Spike grinned.  
   
“Now I know you love me.” Xander gave him a quizzical look, despite the anger inside him. “It’s gotta be love if there’s threats of violence involved. Especially if said violence is directed towards Angel.” Spike’s smile was blinding. He pulled Xander into a rough kiss and Xander felt his anger completely dissipate at the feel of those plump, cool lips. Pulling Spike closer to him, he deepened the kiss. When he had to come up for air, Spike took the opportunity to tuck Xander’s half-hard cock back into his jeans and zip him up, then did the same to himself. “I love you.”  
   
That was enough. In seconds, Xander had undone Spike’s hard work of putting their dicks away. Spike’s clothes were thrown haphazardly around the room and Xander’s were heading the same way. He threw a very naked Spike down on the stack of training mats, taking the time to admire the long, thick cock that he was about to do some naughty things too. Seeing the gleam in Xander’s eyes made Spike even harder, and he gripped the base of his dick to stop himself from cumming too early.  
   
Xander took the time to calm himself down too. It may not have been the ideal situation, but it would have to do. Xander knew he wouldn’t have been able to wait until he got home to do the things he wanted to do to Spike. Kneeling between Spike’s legs, he leaned down over the smaller body. He sucked one hard nipple into his mouth, and rolled the other between his fingers, enjoying Spike’s happy moans. Leaning in closer to kiss the parted lips, his cock brushed against Spike’s. The blonde’s hips snapped up to try to increase the wonderful friction.  
   
Xander pulled back, kneeling back up. Spike was a sight to behold. His chest heaved with unnecessary breath, lips swollen and foreskin retracted to expose the weeping crown. Xander licked his lips. In one swift movement, he had Spike’s cock pressing on the back of his throat. He gagged slightly, but kept going, holding Spike’s hips down to stop the thrusting.  At the feel of a large, warm hand cupping his balls, Spike lost it. He had meant to be quiet. “Oh, FUCK!! Xander…”  
   
***  
   
A very embarrassed Scooby gang were trying to block out the voices from the training room. But no matter how loud Giles played the whale sounds CD – the only disk he could find in the shop, he claimed- it did nothing to drown out the increasingly vocal vampire. They all had a sneaking suspicion that none of them would be able to look Xander in the face for a while. When the cries of “Xander, don’t stop! Fuck, don’t stop. YES! FUCK you feel soooo good…” began to get answers like “ugh, Spike, fuck. So fucking tight! Ugh…”, they decided it was an excellent idea to go patrolling. Buffy also decided it would be a good idea to buy lots of disinfectant spray- maybe even invest in shares of the company, because nothing short of ALL THE BLEACH IN THE WORLD would get rid of the knowledge that Xander had done Spike somewhere in her training room.  
   
***  
   
A very satisfied Xander flopped down next to an equally satisfied Spike. After a brief snuggle, Xander shivered. The sweat that had formed on his body was cooling in the draft from the still open back door. Breaking Spike’s death grip on him, he got up, dressed and chucked Spike’s clothes at the vampire.  
“Pizza. Now.” He grinned. “If there’s any left.” He pulled the unwilling blonde to his feet, buttoned his jeans and went into the empty store.  
   
Giles had left a note. Xander read it to Spike, trying not to laugh. “Dear Xander and Spike. We have gone to patrol. There is cold pizza in the mini-fridge in the basement. Please wipe down whatever it was you were fornicating on before we return.”  
   
“Let’s just go home, yeah? Leave the watcher to clean up.” An evil look crossed the blonde’s face, and he darted back into the training room. Xander followed, feeling confused. He laughed when he saw Spike jerking off. It didn’t take long to get him on the edge of orgasm. Aiming the tip of his cock towards the vaulting horse, he let the cum shoot from his slit, ropy strings of semen covering the wooden frame. “Now we can go home,” he announced to a giggling Xander, tucking himself back into his jeans. Lacing their fingers together, they walked back to their home.  



	17. Epilogue

A month had passed. A month of Xander trying his hardest to make Spike feel wanted, and Spike trying to pretend he didn’t feel awkward. Willow was still not thrilled about her Xander shaped friend doing naughty things with a vampire, but after a brief talk with Spike- mentioning shovels and blackmail- she decided to let it pass. And here they were.  
   
Xander drove the car. Spike snarked and sang along to the radio. When the engine shut off, they were parked in front of a hotel. Not just any hotel. A very large, very expensive hotel. Xander bit his lip, looking over at the stunned vampire. Spike smiled that blinding smile of his. Xander grinned back and climbed out, moving over to the other side of the vehicle and opening the door for Spike. They kissed deeply.  
   
In the hotel lobby, Xander checked them in while Spike looked around. Grandeur wasn’t enough of a word. The marble floor, antique furniture and picture frames and lamps screamed money and class. Ignoring the disdainful look they got from the concierge,  Xander took Spike’s hand and led him up the marble staircase. He unlocked the door to their room, and kissed Spike again before leading him in.  
   
A four poster bed dominated one side of the room. The dark wood frame and heavy drapes completed the antique feel. The en-suite bathroom had a shower and a bath tub, which Spike made a note of for later. Walking back into the main part of the room, Spike took in Xander’s nervous expression and there was nothing he could do but kiss that look off his face. Together they fell onto the bed, Spike doing his best to remove their clothes. He pouted when Xander pulled away.  
   
“We’re not here for a quick fumble, Spike. I want to make it special for you. Wanna make you feel loved.” Stripping his own clothes off, he lay next to Spike, taking the time to re-learn the beautiful body. He undressed Spike slowly, enjoying every inch of skin that was revealed. When the vampire was completely naked, Xander began to mouth his way down Spike’s body, making the skin below him tingle. He took extra time with Spike’s nipples and tongue fucked the navel when he reached it.  
   
Moving between Spike’s legs, he sucked on the hard cock. Spike moaned when Xander nipped at his foreskin and tongued the head. He whimpered when the heat surrounding him withdrew, but was more than happy when both his balls were engulfed in warm wetness as Xander rolled them with his tongue.  Spike was near incoherent by the time Xander pulled off with a wet pop sound. His tongue moved lower, flicking over Spike’s perineum. He sat up to look at Spike.  
   
The blonde looked blissed out. His eyes were half closed, mouth slightly open and chest heaving with unnecessary breath. His hands were clenching in the crisp white sheets. Xander could tell he was trying desperately not to touch himself. Head back down between Spike’s legs, Xander stroked further down with his tongue. He heard Spike gasp as Xander’s tongue touched his twitching opening.  
   
Xander’s tongue speared inside him, driving Spike crazy with want. He was so close to cumming that his balls ached, already drawn up tight. His dick was spilling a steady stream of pre-cum on his belly. He might have been begging, but he couldn’t be sure. When Xander’s hand reached up and gripped Spike’s cock, it was all over. Spike roared his release, muscles clenching round Xander’s tongue.  
   
Without missing a beat, Xander was positioning his own cock at Spike’s opening, enjoying the way the dusky rosebud twitched against the head of his dick. Covering Spike’s body with his own, he pushed forward, loving the way the silky channel opened for him and gripped his member. He kissed Spike deeply. This wouldn’t be a “quick shag” as Spike so delicately termed it. It would be making love; they would take their time and bring each other pleasure. Well, that was the theory anyway.  
   
All too soon, Xander felt his balls rise up and his penis thicken. He gasped into Spike’s mouth. “I’m gunna cum. Fuck, Spike, I’m cumming…” And he was. Harder than he could ever remember cumming before. There may have been the slight possibility he had blacked out, because when he opened his eyes, he was snuggled under the covers with Spike. Kissing the top of the blonde head, he whispered “I love you.”  
   
And just before he fell asleep, smile on his face, he thought he heard an answering “I love you too, Xanpet”.


End file.
